Advice for Second-Time Moms-To-BeDevan McGuinness
There is a lot of advice circling around for first time parents-to-be. It’s a whole new world and there are a lot of questions and concerns that need to be answered. Truth is though, there are a whole new set of questions for expecting parents even if this is not their first time becoming a parent.
I remember wondering, when I was pregnant with my second child, how all of this was going to work. I was going to have two hands, two kids and only one of me. How would I make it all work? How would I know what to do first, how to prioritize. It’s scary. Truth is though, personally I found it much harder transitioning from zero kids to one then I did going from one child to two.
That’s not true for every parent though and for them, and anyone thinking of having more then one child, I’ve put together some pieces of advice to answer the concerns and questions of second-time-to-be parents.
Keep reading for my advice for second-time moms-to-be:
1. Go Hands Free
Get yourself a wrap or sling for the new baby. It saved me when I went from more kids then hands but will be so handy when you have the same about of kids as hands. My favorite was my Moby Wrap!
Want one? Get one from: Moby
2. Accept Help
At least when your baby is brand new accept any offers for help. Let people help stock your fridge and freezer and tidy up a bit. It makes a difference.
3. Flexible Routine
Realize that even if you are a routine person, you will need to be able to have a flexible routine for a while. Give yourself the time to work out all new roles.
4. Trust Yourself
This is not the first time you have been here. Learn and grow from the last time – put in your birth plan what you wish you had last time and you know what worked and didn’t last time.
5. Involve Your First Child
During pregnancy let your child be involved int he baby. Take them to your appointment’s, let them feel the baby kick. When the baby’s born, let your older child help by bringing diapers and small tasks.
6. Encourage and Get Rest
The old advice of ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ is still important when you have an older child at home. Encourage them to play quietly in their room during the baby’s nap time or to cuddle up with you and watch a movie.
7. Lower Your High Expectations
I always consider the first 6 months after a baby is born to be a wild-zone. It’s when the dishes are not always done, laundry piles up and I give myself that time to relax on the stresses of that and allow routine to settle in. It never takes that long, but important to give yourself the space to work things all out.
8. Have Things Handy
Have fun and quiet activities handy for your older child can come in handy when you’re busy feeding your newborn. Have them curl beside you with a book, crayons or other small toys that entertain them.
9. Don’t Blame the Baby
Be weary of how you talk to your older child. Saying things like “I can’t right now, I’m feeding the baby” or “Please be quiet, the baby is sleeping” may lead them to resent your newborn. Rephrase them saying something like “Go grab a book and I will read to you while we feed the baby” involving your older child in the process will save some grief.
10. Priority Will Become Second Nature
A big worry for many second-time to be parents is that they won’t know what to do when both kids need them at once. It will become easier over time, but reality is in the beginning while you are all getting used to it, there will be some tears. Be kind to yourself as you go through that phase. It does get easier and pretty quickly, too.
What are you most worried about going from 1 child to 2? What advice do you have?