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Am I Neglecting my Second Child Already?

With my first pregnancy I spent so much time making sure that I bonded with my baby as much as I could.  I spoke to her, played music for her, and was constantly rubbing my belly.

We had names picked out prior to even finding out the sex.  As soon as we found out we were having a girl, I immediately went shopping for everything pink.  Every trip I went on I made sure to buy something for her.  I was always online, searching for anything baby related.  It was all baby, all the time.  Now the second time around things are completely different.  In fact, I feel that I hardly talk about this baby at all.

At 18 weeks, I haven’t bought a single thing for baby girl #2.  In fact, we are still calling her baby #2 or baby sister because we don’t even have a name picked out.  We’ve talked about it occasionally, but haven’t actually sat down to have a meaningful conversation about it. We really haven’t spoken about her at all.

I can’t help but feel guilty and tear up when I think about it because I would hate for her to ever think that I was neglectful or didn’t care.  Please don’t take this the wrong way and think that we aren’t over the moon to be expecting another daughter, because we are.  But between the several clients I have taken on recently, chasing after a toddler, and trying to maintain my sanity, I can’t help but just overlook it sometimes.

My biggest fear is that when she does come I won’t be able to balance finding time with both girls individually.  Am I already starting and neglecting the child that I am carrying? I know that it is not practical for me to quite possibly spend as much time as I did on the first one.  I have an entirely other person that I am responsible for now that needs a mother and needs my support.  But the guilt of not taking the time to really embrace this pregnancy has started to overwhelm me.

Would love for your advice on this.  Is what I am feeling normal?  How did you get over the “guilt”?

Article Posted 4 years Ago
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