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Another Exciting Pregnancy Symptom You May Not Want To Read About While Eating

By Monica Bielanko |

Hoo boy.  I’ve been reticent to write about this because, well, what woman wants to share this kind of thing with the world?  Apparently, I do.  Because I’ve done it before.

Here’s the thing. I’m not really interested in writing about being pregnant if I’m not going to be brutally honest about being pregnant. I know, we’re all ladies and publicly discussing certain things isn’t necessarily becoming to a lady and well, look… Being pregnant ain’t necessarily becoming to a lady, now, is it? Case in point: stretch marks, acne, varicose veins, pregnant stank, water retention, puking until you pee yourself, bloody gums, nipples the size of dinner plates, hormones, hair where you’ve never had hair, hemorrhoids… shall I continue?

I want to tell you the kinds of things I’d wished someone had told me before I got pregnant. Not because it would change whether I want to have a child — nothing could change that. Hell, you could wave a wand and declare my pregnancy will be ten times worse than it is now and I’d still do it. It’s only nine months and I wouldn’t trade being a mama for anything. Although you may want to check back with me when Violet’s fifteen.

So the thing I’m going to talk to you about today isn’t just hard to talk about — it’s hard to spell. D-I-A-R-R-H-E-A.

I’ve never had the strongest stomach. Just mention the word snot and I get the dry heaves. In fact, my brothers enjoy this game very much. Talk about snot to try and get Monica to puke. One time, in college, this guy sneezed. I looked back to see who it was. He had covered his mouth and nose with his hands and was just pulling them back. A thick, string of snot tightroped from his nostril to his hand. I quickly looked forward, expecting to see him rush out of the room to take care of his situation. After a few seconds passed and I didn’t see him leaving, I looked back again. He was just sitting there as if nothing had happened.

WHAT DID HE DO WITH THE SNOT? My mind raced, quickly eliminating all options but three. A) He wiped it on his pants? B) He wiped it under his desk? C) Oh dear God, he ate it?

Any possibility was too much for me and I rushed from the room and emptied my lunch in the restroom. That was a long way of saying I have a weak stomach. It churns at the smallest provocation, be it an unsavory mental image or the physical introduction of coffee too early in the morning. So even when I’m not sporting around an extra human being in the business of rearranging my innards, I don’t have the strongest constitution.

And when I’m pregnant? My entire system revolts. It’s the morning hours that are generally the worst. I wake up to a stomach so hungry I can feel the juices sloshing against the walls in there. You’d think the first thing I’d want to do would be to get a layer of food in there immediately. Seems logical, right? But it’s a catch-22. Get some food in there and I won’t puke, but the food revolts anyway and makes a mad dash for the opposite end of the puking spectrum. Which means I end up availing myself of the facilities for a good half hour while the food in my stomach protests and stages a massive walk-out run-out.

These are no ordinary cramps either.

It’s like the devil himself is reaching in, grabbing himself a big ol’ handful of my innards and twisting. Most mornings are spent playing inside with Violet near the bathroom should yet another evil notion strike the devil. Since I try to be informative here, well, a little, anyway, as opposed to just blathering on about myself, I did a little internet research on diarrhea during pregnancy.

Turns out, diarrhea is the least common side effect of pregnancy. Mostly because prenatal vitamins tend to cause constipation and also, as pregnancy progresses, the intestines apparently tend to slow down. Perhaps my diarrhea and I are in the minority and the rest of y’all are all plugged up, maybe even longing for a bout of diarrhea? Do you want me to say diarrhea one more time? Because I can. Diarrhea.

Here’s the interesting part I discovered: Diarrhea is not an illness, it’s a symptom. That’s not how it feels to me.  Most mornings my main affliction is unrelenting, crampy, diarrhea. Seems like THE illness to me.

But here’s something nice to learn:

Most viruses and bacteria that cause diarrhea do not have any impact on the baby because they stay within the digestive tract. The biggest concern for pregnant women with diarrhea is the risk of severe dehydration, which can affect the baby – Pregnancy by emedTV

Because listen. Have you ever been straining really hard at eight or nine months pregnant and wondered if, just maybe, you could injure the baby?  Or induce an early entrance?  Because sometimes? The diarrhea? It feels THAT severe.  I know, I know… a case of poop pushing induced labor is about as likely as your fella’s penis bonking your baby on the head during Sexy Time but when trapped on the toilet for several painful minutes, a pregnant woman can’t help but wonder certain things.  Especially because when you actually are in labor, you’re using the same muscles to push.

Apparently I’m not the only one to ponder such things. Go ahead, Google Can Pushing While Pooping Hurt Baby and you’ll see what I mean.

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About Monica Bielanko


Monica Bielanko

Monica Bielanko was raised on the wild frontier of late 1970's Utah. She is a recovering Mormon who married the guitar player of an unknown band. She's been married to her Babble Voices writing partner, Serge Bielanko, for the past nine years. Her personal blog, The Girl Who was in the top ten of last year's Top 50 list. Read bio and latest posts → Read Monica's latest posts →

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16 thoughts on “Another Exciting Pregnancy Symptom You May Not Want To Read About While Eating

  1. Elle says:

    THANK YOU! I thought I was the only one, because all I read about is constipation this, constipation that. I’m only 25 and this is my first pregnancy. Most of my friends are worried about designing their engagement rings at this point (p.s. only a couple more days until you get yours, right?!), so it’s not like I have a posse of pregnant friends to discuss bodily functions with. But every thing I read is all, “eat small, frequent meals”. Well that’s fantastic, but my stomach hurts so bad that nothing seems appealing, but I HAVE to eat something or I feel like I’m going to vomit, so then I finally eat something…and then it comes exploding out the other end. And don’t you hate having diarrhea at work? Could there be anything worse? I try to wear a different pair of shoes everyday so no one notices who the work-pooper is.

  2. Lauren LouAnn says:

    Things will go back to normal eventually… right??? As we roll along to 31 weeks, I can’t even remember what “normal” feels like. I feel you on the young front too @ELLE. I’m 23 and having horrific morning sickness during NYC’s hottest month in HISTORY made me want to kill all of my summer-partying-unencumbered-hungover friends who had chosen to make themselves nauseous by drinking excessively? I could not wrap my head around it. I don’t know where I was even going with this. I’m uncomfortable ;(

  3. MonicaBielanko says:

    @Elle! Try getting diarrhea at work the day you wear a pair of red Converse All-Star high tops. THAT was a nightmare. I kept putting my feet up every time someone came in the bathroom!

  4. E @ Oh! Apostrophe says:

    I agree… I have been wondering when this mysterious constipation symptom that everyone talks about was going to pop up because let’s just say it hasn’t been a problem for me and I’m 26 weeks!

  5. Jessica says:

    Car sickness…didn’t know it was a possibility. But I have it thanks to the pregnancy.

  6. Hollie says:

    Ha ha, speaking of being the work-pooper, I have to use the kids’ bathroom at the school where I work between classes – A) I am the only one wearing jeans because the kids have a school uniform, and B) my shoes are definitely “adult” shoes in a kid world. So all the time, kids are in the stall next to me, exclaiming “Hey, Mrs. H!” like it’s a good time for a convo. AWK-WARD!!! (On the plus side, the bathrooms haven’t been vandalized all year because they know there’s frequently an adult in there… silver lining for the campus?)

  7. Claire says:

    I think I have constipation-diarrhea. If I’m not backed up I’m sick as a dog with horrific stomach cramps. I even ended up in the ER cause I couldn’t stay hydrated enough and the cramps were reminiscent of labor. This is my third pregnancy and it was not like this with the other ones. Possible good news to first time moms, maybe you’ll end up with constipation next time? Scratch that neither is fun and really I’m glad to be just getting it out.

  8. Lindsey says:

    So, I had a surrogate because I couldn’t get pregnant, and next time I think I’ve missed out on something, I will read this. I’m sorry you are going through this, it sounds . . . painful.

  9. [...] See the article here: Another Exciting Pregnancy Symptom You May Not Want To Read About While Eating – Babble (blog) [...]

  10. Cristin says:

    Firstly, I’m not pregnant and I read your blog. Love it.
    Secondly, I am totally going to be one of those assholes who suggests a product to you. Dr. Ohhira’s probiotics. They’re capsules.
    But doesn’t Activia yogurt have that and doesn’t it just MAKE you poop? (Yes, that’s exactly wha you’re saying.) But NO! Activia has like four different kinds of probiotic strains. These have like 70. No I do not sell or work for this company. They were suggested to me by a crunchy, hippy chiropractor who I was seeing. I was hypothryroid and going from crazy constipated to green apple splatter diarrhea. (Sorry!)
    They’re sold at health food stores and any organic market type place.
    Anyway, they WORK. My gut is so damn happy all the time.
    And they don’t MAKE you go. I was afraid of that. It might be worth a shot.
    I recommend them to everyone! (I’m really popular.)

  11. [...] Read this article: Another Exciting Pregnancy Symptom You May Not Want To Read About While Eating – Babble (blog) [...]

  12. Elissa says:

    I had the opposite problem (the more common one) – constipation from day 1. That’s actually one of the first signs I had while pregnant with #2, before I even got a positive pregnancy test. And let me tell you, on more than one occasion, I was actually worried that I might push that baby out while just trying to go to the bathroom. With both #1 and #2, one of the ways I knew i was in labor was I could actually go to the bathroom – I googled it and apparently your body can try to clear itself out before labor. I’m not sure which is worse – the constipation or the diarrhea.

  13. nan says:

    My body’s response to stress is typically diarrhea, so I was all stoked about the pregnancy constipation. Figured I’d even out, right? No Way. Still diarrhea. In fact, a week before my baby was due (and all first babies are late, right?) I ate out (rich food) and woke up at midnight and shot into the bathroom. Diarrhea, I thought. Nope, water breaking! Felt like the same old shit as far as I was concerned.

    p.s. for the first time in my life, I know how to spell diarrhea!

  14. Nessie says:

    Same here. Sigh.

  15. mbaker says:

    During my last pregnancy I had horrible reflux that involved puking up stomach acid almost every day and horrible IBS that got so bad I ended up losing a pair of underwear in an airplane bathroom during an overseas flight to India to meet my dh’s extended family.

    This time around I haven’t puked once or had any problems with diarrhea. Constipation, on the other hand, has been a real problem especially after I had to start taking iron supplements. I just though sharing that would give ya’ll who suffer from really bad diarrhea hope that next time could be better.

  16. Sunny says:

    Ugh, Diarrhea and Constipation, taking turns throughout the months. Come on out baby, I just want to be regular again!

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