Are Short Maternity Leaves the New Black? Yes, Say Ivanka Trump and Victoria Beckham
Why does it seem the people who can afford maternity leaves the most want them the least?
The problem with being a freelance, work-at-home mom is maternity leave (among other things). As in, I won’t really have one. Because I already work from home, staying home with a newborn doesn’t mean I don’t have to work. I still have the same bills to pay (and then some — hello, insurance deductible). Of course I feel fortunate that I’ll be home with baby girl No. 2, just as I have been since the birth of baby girl No. 1, and I wouldn’t have it any other way — except for maybe having to work while I’m trying to focus on the new life that I’ve brought into the world.
What I don’t understand is the women who don’t have to work who still choose not to enjoy a real maternity leave to get the full bonding experience with their babies. My mom always told me not to count other people’s money, but when you’re Ivanka Trump and Victoria Beckham, I don’t have to count; the size of their gazillion dollar bank accounts are in the public domain.
No matter how career-oriented you are, why do women (like Ivanka and Victoria) proudly say they’ll be taking next to no time off following the birth of their babies? If you’re having a baby, don’t you want more time, especially in the beginning?
Ivanka Trump recently announced that she has “meetings on the calendar” two weeks after her due date with her first child this summer. “But of course, I’ll have to get to know the baby’s needs first,” she said.
Forget about the fact that she makes caring for a baby sound like a business brief that has to be memorized before she can move on, I wonder why someone in her position doesn’t feel she can (or maybe she doesn’t want to) spend more quality time with her newborn. (This is, by the way, totally forgetting about the fact that two weeks after birth she’ll likely still be recovering — physically, emotionally, hormonally — from the actual act of giving birth.)
Victoria Beckham is expecting her fourth child this summer and she, too, says she’ll be taking little to no time off from work.
She said in an interview with Glamour magazine: “Maternity leave – what’s that? I’ve been working incredibly hard so I’m prepared for next season. Being a working mum is hard – I think women can relate to me when I say it’s like juggling glass balls. My husband and children will always be my priority. But for me, what I do professionally doesn’t feel like a job – it’s my passion.”
I understand being career-oriented. It’s something I’ve struggled with since my first baby. I’m very intent on maintaining and furthering my career, but never been to the detriment of my relationship with my baby, and that won’t change. Of course with money comes privilege — a nanny and a nursery in your office, perhaps, so that you’re never far from your baby. Or help at home and fully functional working office so you can work remotely.
But the reality is, as any work-at-home mom knows, the baby always wins, or at least should win. Something will have to take a back seat if the crying baby has already been fed and is wearing a clean diaper. The business phone call or meeting just has to wait, or, sadly, the baby does. Something or someone always suffers. Sure, there’s the whole working mom struggle — taking time off might mean that your male co-workers have an opportunity to get ahead while you’re nursing at home. However, in many cases that just isn’t the case. Regardless, you really can’t have it all — at least all at once. But don’t you know that when you decide to have a baby in the first place?
While I have no interest in working in a traditional office setting, the idea of a paid maternity leave sure seems nice sometimes. Most larger companies usually offer time off for new moms in the range of six weeks to six months and the thought of time with my baby that’s not interrupted by work sounds like heaven.
Which is why I really don’t understand women who don’t have to work immediately following the birth of a child but choose to anyway. No matter how much help you have, I don’t think your focus and attention on the baby could possibly be the same, and no matter how dedicated you are to your career, why you would choose to walk away from such a precious time in your child’s life.
How much of a maternity leave will you be taking? Do you wish it were longer? Shorter?
Image: Wikipedia
First, we don’t necessarily know that the FATHERS aren’t taking leave (maybe I’m just delighted by the idea of David Beckham being the primary care taker, I’m sure it’s actually a nanny).
I am taking almost the full 12 weeks, half of which will be unpaid, when my baby is born. It’s my first baby, and I have a long commute to work and I don’t know how I’ll react. But the timing is really really good. If he were due any other time of year, I’d only take 6 weeks. And I fully expect to be online as soon as physically able — responding to emails, on the phone, doing my job.
Why? Not because I won’t want more time with my baby — I’m sure I will — but because I’m not interested in dropping out of the workforce, of giving up my career. There are projects that can go ahead without me, and then there are projects that can leave me behind. If I lose too many, I will fall inexorably behind.
I want to be a good mother. I love children and babies. But if I’m not successful at work I will lose my mind. I know this about myself. I am unhappy–as in depressed, as in on medication–when not working at a job that challenges and excites me. Life without stimulating adult conversation every single day terrifies me. I am TERRIFIED about how I will cope during the 12 weeks I am alone with my new baby. But I also want the time with him as a newborn.
I’m lucky that I’ve been allowed to adjust my work schedule when I go back so that I can avoid rush hour and drastically shorten my commute, thus maximizing my time with my child. My husband is similarly careerist and will also be back at work, and we will have a nanny. I have no guilt about this. I was raised by a single working mother and a nanny, and while the hour-by-hour breakdown may have caused my mom some stress, I was never confused about who was who. I loved our nanny, but not the same visceral way I loved my mother. I am glad she was lucky enough to have the help she needed to be both an excellent parent and a successful professional.
That got a little rambly there, but the answer, I think, is that for some women while child rearing is a delight and something they look forward to, it is not necessarily the be-all end-all. I know that some people work because they have to. I work because I NEED to, and not in the financial sense (my husband’s job could carry our family easily, mine allows fripperies and savings for college).
These celeb women are SO full of sh!t. It’s not like they clock in at an office so what does “take time off” mean to them? So Victoria will still fly to Milan to be front row at a fashion show? That’s what not taking time off means? Get the hell out of here with that crap. And when she does go she’ll take eight nannies to help out with kids… or leave the kids at home with the nanny? I also think Ivanka is just talking out of her ass as well. “Meetings on calendars”… Whatever. She also has the option to not work at all so I think that makes her feel more inclined to say she’s working right after birth. If, like the rest of us, she had the crappy couple of weeks most of us get she’d be wringing every last second out of stay-at-home time.
I’ll be on maternity leave for 9 months, then my husband goes on his paternity leave for the following 9 months. Yes, we get a total of 18 months parental leave to share, 16 months of which is paid leave (works out at about 70-75% of your pre-baby income). Yes, I realize we are very, very fortunate to live somewhere (northern Europe) where this is not only legally mandated, but considered normal by both employers and peers. Yet I still have the same concerns as some of the other commenters; how on earth will I survive 9 months at home without adult conversation and professional challenges? Only time will tell…:)
I took 5 mos paid and added on unused vaca for a total of 6 mos. I wouldn’t have done it any other way! And Switzerland isn’t nearly as generous as other European countries… The US is far behind – and at what price?
Ivanka Trump is having her first baby, so she doesn’t know yet what it will be like or what she will really want to do once the baby is here. Victoria Beckham is having her 4th baby, and she probably does know how much (or how little) time she wants to spend with the baby. In any event, they will both have nannies and will be able to adhere to whatever schedule they want to. I would take whatever they are publicly saying about their plans with a grain of salt.
I am taking 12 weeks- 6 paid, 3 vacation and 3 unpaid. 4 weeks in and I wish it would be forever.
I took 5 weeks – all unpaid – and it’s not nearly enough. I’m still in pain, but returning to work because I simply cannot afford it, despite the fact that my hubby works full time. The US is very far behind, indeed. My employer told me today that they do not HAVE to take me back, but probably will. Oh, life!
With both my girls I took 5 mo. But here in the US the law only guarantees our job and benefits, no pay. My return to work is not my choice. My husband is an artist and I make the higher salary with excellent benefits. My hubby is doing his best to find a job so that I may stay home. I envy all other countries where the leave is up to a year and even paid.
Took 12 weeks; 6 paid through short term disability and 6 paid through family leave insurance. Going back to work this week and really bummed about it.
I’ll be taking 12 weeks – 5 weeks short-term disability, then using my vacation time runs out. Likely will be 2 weeks unpaid. we get no maternity leave here, which definitely sucks.
The US is so far behind. I took 6 months off after my 1st born. This was all unpaid. and not by choice. I lost my job 4 weeks before she was born, and didn’t find a job until 7 months later. (I am the second pregnant lady in 2 months to have lost her job at that company weeks before baby was born, hmmmm). baby #2, I took 12 weeks off, only 5 paid at 60%, the rest unpaid. After #3, I took 12 weeks off…at week 10, I reisgned and have been a stay-at-home-mom ever since. At first the idea scared me! But now, I would not have it any other way. Expecting baby #4 (and last) this October and I am SO relieved to not be worrying about maternity leave. my hubby gets 4 weeks 100% paid paternity leave though! yay!
I agree with Monica B. What does it mean for a celebrity to be at work? Certainly not as many hours, not as little flexibility, and not as small a paycheck as most people. Plus, the nannies! How many celebrities ate truly hands-on with their kids? Probably not as many as all the “Stars: They’re just like us!” photo-ops would have everyone believe.
I think people like Ivanka should keep her mouth shut until she actually has her baby, as she clearly has no clue what it is like to actually become a parent. All kinds of things can happen during and after childbirth (c-sections, tears, hemorrhoids) that can throw you for a loop. (As they say, the best laid plans….) For me, it was having a premature baby who spent 2 weeks in the NICU then my 5 weeks spent on the couch in excruciating pain having to train the baby to breastfeed. And then there’s all the sleepless nights that all parents experience during the first few weeks. I highly doubt she’ll be wanting to attend board meetings 2 weeks after having a baby. Something tells me she is going to eating her words.
Oh, if I had that kind of money, I’d be lolling around on the sofa with the baby for a year or so. But in reality, I took 9 weeks off because that’s what I could afford, with using the month of extended leave I had and our savings. I used all my sick days before birth because my doc put me on disability at 35 weeks. Sad how the women who can take the time off don’t. You do see other celebrities take a while off from working post-baby, so this isn’t the norm.
I’ll be taking 18 years off. I honestly don’t plan on going back to work until after my children are all graduated from high school. I grew up in a family with two working parents who worked hard to provide for our family. My husband and I feel that love, attention and quality time are more powerful than money though, so, God willing, I’ll be staying home with my children as long as possible.
it’s not a contest. there’s not some part of life “winning.” that’s a weird way to look at it. it’s about balance. i love my career, my husband, both of my children. sure, from moment to moment, my attention may be just focused on ONE, but that one doesn’t in itself define my life. i balance, juggle, multitask.
Try to think a little more creatively and emphathetically. Some moms return because they’re under tremendous corporate pressure. They want to protect their careers. They’ve invested gobs of money and time into them. Others might perform jobs that are for the greater good — teachers with 25 4th graders waiting on them to return, but summer break around the corner.
Most of these moms probably have trusted daycare. their babies are perfectly fine. they’re not “walking away from their children.” it’s beyond insulting that you would suggest that.
i’ve rearranged my full-time work schedule so that my children are with one of their parents five days a week. the other two days, my sons in preschool and my daughter is with both her grandma and great aunt-in-law. My daughter gets the undivided attention of two loving family members while i work.
companies are under zero obligation to provide maternity leave here. the law is only that they protect your job for 12 weeks. if you want to be confused or upset about something, why not focus on that? i wanted to return after 5 and 7 weeks after my two c-sections. i’m thrilled to have a rewarding career, wonderful care for my babies and the option to return to work when I felt ready. i feel sorry for the moms who don’t have a choice.