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Are There Women Who Shouldn't Have Kids?

Is pregnancy for everyone?

My recent post, “You’re Too ____ To Get Pregnant!” had some very interesting comments on it.  (You’ll have to go read it to see!)  Basically, they were stories of moms having babies under circumstances that kind of make you go, “Huh?”

Then there are the women who are, self-proclaimed, “Not right to have kids.”

Having kids is amazing and wonderful and a lot of women do choose to have kids.  But are there women out there, for whatever reason, who maybe…shouldn’t?

I know it’s a touchy subject, because the vast majority of moms love their children and strive to do their best.  No one “measures up” all the time, but most moms truly love being mothers, and that’s what’s most important.

But then there are those moms.  Usually they’re the ones you hear about in the news: the ones whose child died because they were negligent or they abused the child.  The seriously dumb stories like bullying a child until she commits suicide, vegan parents who starved their child (I totally believe it wasn’t the veganism, it was their lack of knowledge about an appropriate diet for a child and unwillingness to seek medical help), or even a mother who breastfeeds while driving.

These stories just make you wonder what the parents were thinking.  And honestly, I think they make a lot of people wonder: “Should they be parents at all?”  If they are that negligent about a child’s health and safety…how can they be good parents?  We all make mistakes, but starving your child to death — literally — isn’t exactly one of those things where you can say, “I screwed up, I’ll do better next time.”

We might even look at some people, perhaps those who are addicted to drugs or alcohol, or have other extremely difficult life circumstances, and say, “They shouldn’t have children.”  The motivation being that those children will not be well-cared for unless the parents are able to stop their addictions.  Other mothers look at those children and the circumstances they’ve been dealt, and their heart hurts.

Then, on the other hand, there are women who just don’t want children.  They have no desire to be parents.  Society would brand them as selfish: everyone should experience the joy that is having a child…right?  But honestly, if they don’t want to be parents, should they?  Would a woman (or man) who truly does not want to be a parent be a good one?  Sure, there are plenty of women who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant and come to see children as a total joy and can’t imagine life without them.  But there are parents, too, who say, “I wish I hadn’t had children.”  Which is worse…not having children in the first place, or having them and then regretting it?

So, realistically…are there women who just shouldn’t have kids?

Undecided? Check out this article on 10 Very Bad Reasons to Get Pregnant!

Top image by flequi

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