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Are You Fluent in the Lingo of Modern Motherhood? Take This Test.

Are you really ready to be a mother…. online? Here’s a simple quiz to assess your fluency in the codes of the mommy message boards. (Answers after the jump.)

What do the following acronyms mean:

AP

BBT

CIO

DH

DPO

EBF

FF

FTM

SAHM

Extra Credit

NAK

NTNP

POAS

AIH

Answers:

AP – Attachment parenting; a child rearing philosophy

BBT – Basal body temperature

CIO – Cry it out; a method of sleep training for infants

DH – Dear husband

DPO – Days past ovulation

EBF – Exclusively breastfeeding

FF – Formula feeding

FTM – First time mom

SAHM – Stay at home mom

Extra Credit

NAK – Nursing at keyboard

NTNP – Not trying/not preventing

POAS – Pee on a stick

AIH – Artificial insemination with husband’s sperm

I got these acronyms from an amazingly comprehensive glossary of mommy message board lingo posted by Tracie Egan Morrissey over at Jezebel. Thank you Tracie for your tireless cruising: This IS AN IMPRESSIVE compilation. I had never read NAK before, though God knows I did it.

The acronyms and conversations on UrbanBaby are truly fascinating– for a FTM it can feel like a hazing of sorts. There’s support but there’s also a brutal kind of “let’s be honest” tone to many of the anonymous snippets. It’s not for the faint of heart. This excerpt of an UrbanBaby conversation on the topic of Sylvia Plath’s poems and parenting is priceless. The stuff about kindergarten school admissions on NYC’s Urban Baby can be devastating. TT stands for “top tier” school; G&T for “gifted and talented,” you can imagine from there.

Some of the acronyms are famously irritating, DH (Dear Husband), for example. And whenever you see WAHM or SAHM in one line, you know it’s going to get ugly.

But I do admire the efficiency of this lingo. You can express a world of emotion with BFN (big fat negative/as in pregnancy test), or convey a particular burdensome quality of sex-for-conception with DTD (do the deed). I also find the tendency towards bodily fluids and functions–CM (cervical mucus), BW (blood week)–intriguing. Blood week?! It’s so Twilight! We need to be able to talk about our junk and gunk and, let’s be honest, an anonymommy board may be as good a place as any to let it rip.

The one acronym that stands out, however, is BD (Baby Dancing/ for conception).  BD feels way too earnest and 1970s-sandals-beards-and-beads-grotty for this tough crowd.

What do you think? Have you got it what it takes to surf these boards?

 

Read the complete list of acronyms at Jezebel.

Follow Ceridwen’s birth and pregnancy blogging on Facebook or check out her book From The Hips.

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