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How much control do we really have?

When we learned that our first child was a girl, my husband and I were elated, as we both wanted a daughter so desperately.

We felt like we had won the baby lottery.

When we were ready to have another baby, we wanted our daughter to have a sister, so we gave the Shettles Method a try.

After five months, we got pregnant, but miscarried at 8 weeks. Devastated, we began trying again immediately, aiming only for a healthy pregnancy.

We were quickly pregnant again and soon learned that we were having a boy. Though it took some time for me to become excited about it, now that I know the joy of having a son, we’ll be thrilled to get pregnant with either gender.

So, how exactly does the Shettles Method work?


When aiming for a specific gender, there are a few different methods you can try.

The Shettles Method relies upon scheduling intercourse during certain times of the month to increase the chances of conceiving the gender of your choice.

When a woman ovulates an egg, it carries an X chromosome. Sperm carries either an X or a Y chromosome. If a sperm with a Y chromosome fertilizes an egg, the embryo will result in a boy (XY). Conversely, if the sperm that reaches and fertilizes the egg carries an X chromosome, the embryo will be a girl (XX).

According to the Shettles Method, you can actually have some control over which sperm reach the egg.

If you want a boy, have intercourse on the day of ovulation so that the egg is waiting for the faster-swimming male sperm to arrive.

The Shettles Method suggests that deeper penetration helps to get the sperm closer to the cervical canal, therefor closer to the egg. It also emphasizes that female orgasm should occur simultaneously with male orgasm, as it increases the alkaline level of the vagina.

If you are hoping for a girl, reverse the previous scenario. Have intercourse 2 to 3 days before ovulation, as that allows time for the male sperm to die off, allowing the slower, but more resilient, female sperm to reach the egg. The Shettles Method also advises that you should avoid orgasm and keep penetration shallow to allow a greater distance for the sperm to swim to get to the egg.

What do you think?

Have you ever heard of this method?

Have you tried it?

Do you think it’s worth a shot?

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