I know I’m going to get a bunch of crap for saying this because it’s all the rage to be all about the pregnancy glow and all that but, girl, please. There is nothing sexy about being 9 months pregnant.
You can jabber about voluptuousness and the pregnancy glow until the cows come home and I will just tell you to talk to the hand.
I’ve been there and have never felt less sexy in my life. Massive weight gain, swollen appendages, raccoon face, hemorrhoids, leaky boobs, hairy legs, greasy hair, Doritos crumbs constantly jumbling around in the folds of my XXXXXL shirt… Oh, baby, yeah.
Listen, I know a bunch of you have great pregnancies and that’s swell and I’m sure there are tons of beautiful pregnant women out there and yeah, okay, it isn’t just about the physicality, but sexy?
Guess what? A ton of men think so.
According to Jena Pincott over at Huffington Post, anyway. Apparently she was unknowingly radiating such sexy pregnant vibes while grocery shopping that she was hit on by a younger dude. “He initiated a conversation about the World Cup, and, casually, asked me if I’d like to watch the game with him that weekend. “You’re pretty!” he whispered. I was shocked.”
Pincott wondered why a man who was not the expectant woman’s husband would think pregnancy is sexy. But then a bunch of her girlfriends apparently had similar tales to share about how they got hit on in the third trimester.
Who are all these women getting hit on in the third trimester? Am I alone in my statement that ain’t nobody ever hit on me while pregnant, period. Hell, nobody ever hits on me when I’m not pregnant and, now that I’m thinking about it, I’m starting to feel offended by that. Seriously, is a heavily pregnant woman sexy? According to a new study, Pincott points out, A LOT of men think so. Hey, good news for you, right?
Here’s the gist of the study. A team of European doctors recruited nearly 2,200 men who had joined online fetish groups like alt.sex.fetish and alt.sex.fetish.breastmilk and gave them a questionnaire about their preferences for pregnant and lactating women. Most respondents reported that they were turned on by women who are pregnant and women who are nursing. The average age at which respondents became aware of how sexually aroused they were by pregnancy and lactation was about 18 years.
The doctors were trying to figure out if there was something unique about the upbringing of these men that led them to be attracted to pregnancy and lactation. Turns out, the more exposed a man was to his mother being pregnant and breastfeeding when he was between 1.5 and 5 years old, the more likely he is, as an adult, to be sexually attracted to pregnant and breastfeeding women. Additionally, a man with lots of younger siblings is more likely to be attracted to pregnant women — obviously because his mother was pregnant while he was growing up.
If you’d like to get all scientific about it, Pincott talks a lot more about sexual imprinting and Freud’s “Oedipal Phase” over on the Huffington Post. But basically she says that you may be able to predict how attracted your partner will be to you late in pregnancy… Does he have sibling who was born within five years after him? If so, he’s likelier to be turned on by your pregnant self.