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Belly Laughs: Answers To Your Toughest Pregnancy Questions

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So you’re pregnant.  You’re moody, gaining weight and anticipating a delivery during which you have no idea what will happen.  And what about after the baby is born?

You have a billion questions about what’s going on in your body, what could happen at the hospital while the baby is being born and your recovery.  When will I feel the baby move?  What is colic?  Why do I want to slap my husband several times a day?

Lucky you, I’ve scoured the internet and have compiled a list of important questions and answers that most, if not all, pregnant women have asked at one time or another.

So sit back, relax, and have a good belly laugh at answers to your toughest pregnancy questions.

The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?

~Cause you’re fatter than they are.

Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
~Yes, but it’s much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.

Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather then briefs?
~Yes, but you’ll have an even better chance if he doesn’t wear anything at all.

I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
~With any luck, right after he finishes high school.

Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
~Yes, your bladder.

What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
~Childbirth.

My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
~So what’s your question?

Do I have to have a baby shower?
~Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Under what circumstances can sex at the end of pregnancy bring on labor?
~When the sex is between your husband and another woman.

When is the best time to get an epidural?
~Right after you find out your pregnant.

What is colic?
~A reminder for new parents to use birth control.

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