Today is my birthday and for some reason I’ve got the birthday blues.
Those who know me know that birthdays are one of my most favorite things in life. I love other people’s birthdays too, but my inner narcissist especially loves my own birthday. I blame my mom. She always made birthdays an entire day all about us and I guess that’s never worn off in my adult years. But, this year my birthday is feeling like a bit of a bummer.
I think my impending motherhood may be a little responsible for these birthday blues…
Don’t get me wrong I am thrilled about the prospect of becoming a mama. I guess I just get cold feet from time to time thinking about just how much my life is going to change when this little baby shows up. Gone are the days of selfish care-free weekends filled with shopping trips and dinners out.
I know that the joys of having a child will far outweigh the enjoyment I get from a fun weekend excursion, but it doesn’t make it any less of a bummer to be on a budget on your birthday. I guess the turning of another year older is just another reminder of the life changes ahead, the closing of this chapter of my youth. I may be turning 27 today, but most of the time I still just feel like a kid. I guess once I have a baby of my own, I’ll feel like a real “grownup”…right?
I guess the turning of another year is just proving to be my version of a “Whoa! This is really happening – I’m having a baby” moment of clarity.
Did any of you have a moment of clarity similar to mine? Tell me about it! I need to know that I’m not alone in this/crazy.