I don’t participate in Black Friday. Never have. Never want to. I figure I come out ahead as I’m not buying stuff just because it’s on sale. Even a sale price is a loss because I’m probably buying a thing I wouldn’t have bought if it wasn’t on sale. You with me?
I sit in my stretchy, black pants and XL sweater, sipping hot apple cider and watch the news coverage of people who line up at the front doors of stores as much as 24 hours in advance.
I must admit, I’m fascinated.
Tents, blankets, barbeques, generators, televisions and video games are hauled in to keep those waiting occupied. What are they lining up to purchase, I want to know? ASK THEM, I shout at the TV. But the reporter never asks. She just keeps asking how long they’ve been lined up for.
I need to know what they’re lining up for. What kind of deal would bring on that madness? I could maybe, MAYBE be talked into going to a store at five in the morning. But not at seven months pregnant. Or maybe seven months pregnant would work to my advantage? You know, incurring sympathy and whatnot? I’ve got a feeling though that you Black Friday nutters don’t give two figs for a pregnant woman. You’re knocking her down same as you would the spry twenty-something that stumbles into your path, right? I understand. If I’d just camped out in the parking lot of a Best Buy for 24 hours I’d be damned if some pregnant chick was going to get my deal. Seven months along, nine months along, in labor? Whatever. Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got a flat screen to purchase! I hear you.
Still, I feel left out. Almost guilty that I’m not taking advantage of sales even though I have no idea what I need to buy. I’m kind of tempted to go to the mall and see what’s shaking. Just plop Violet in her big, ol’ stroller and bash the hell out of anyone who gets in my way. I’m thinking that any amazing deals have already been snapped up hours ago but I still want to go and just watch the madness.
After this I’m going to do as the esteemed Michelle Horton advises and click around the web in search of online Black Friday deals. Scoring deals without getting out of bed is right up my alley. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything. Or maybe not. Maybe I’ll wait for the so-called Cyber Monday.
If you’re a Black Friday junkie, I must know, what drags you from the comforts of home and leftover turkey to wait in line for hours and then sprint into stores, elbowing folks out of your way? Am I missing out?