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I Can't Shake This Feeling

My husband and I were having another conversation over the weekend about adding another child. We have this conversation a lot but this one left me confused.

I have a lot to think about.

I am sure that I want more kids.  What I am confused about though is why I want more kids.  The answer to this is not exactly clear-cut and it comes with some complications from my past.

I have this strange feeling – when I am sitting in front of my three kids – that someone is missing. It’s an eerie feeling that even when I try to get it out of my mind, I can’t.  Is this feeling what is telling me my family is not complete? That there should be someone else added? Or is this feeling a result of my past – missing the 10 children who could have been? Is this desire for a larger family really a longing for those I have lost?

I don’t have an answer to these questions.

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image: Brian M Forbes via Flickr

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