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Choosing A C-section: My Fear, My Anger, My acceptance, My Empowerment

photo credit : istockphoto.com

It started as a quest to find a provider who would simply take me on for a trail of labor after already having two cesarean section deliveries. I wanted to avoid another cesarean at all costs because of my recovery, and experience with my births.

After finding a provider, reading all of the studies, checking the information out, going over my patient file, surgical reports, and learning virtually everything I could possibly as an educated consumer in my own health care. I came to a heartbreaking decision recently.

With the help of my husband, and my midwife who attended my second birth, a 26 hour VBAC attempt which ended in a second cesarean for a plethora of reasons… I decided a third c-section would be not only the safest option for me given my history, but the safest option for my child.

Something I have been seeking since I learned I was pregnant with our third, and very unexpected child. This pregnancy has surprised me repeatedly. If you told me two years ago, I would some day opt for a scheduled cesarean (which I am still against for elective reasons) I would have probably told you, that you were crazy.

The people I spoke with about this choice were people I trusted, and felt comfortable with. I knew I could take their word as gold and would not be fed the typical medical opinion filled with fear and liability of something going wrong. A midwife with one of the lowest cesarean rates in my area, who has signed up to be my doula for the birth, and postpartum period. She sat with me through my second cesarean holding my other hand that my husband didnt have and took pictures of our son. She walked me through the procedure, what they were doing, and make it as positive as it could be under the circumstances. Making something positive, out of a failure.

Over the next couple months I will be working on a positive cesarean birth plan, which I will share with other women who may be in the same situation I am in. I want women to be able to be empowered by their birth experience, and empowered by making their own choices in their care like I am.

Am I dreading the recovery?  Yes, I am scared to death.

After my first c-section, I had a newborn I was able to lay and rest with all day. Breastfeed in my bed, and change his diaper right there also.

With my second c-section, my husband was home and able to help me through my recovery. I laid in bed for weeks, not only in pain, but an emotional wreck from a failed VBAC.

This time around, I will have a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and a newborn to take care of after the surgery with little help. It is scary!

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