It seems to me that with all this talk lately about “push presents” — both on the “we deserve it” and “your baby’s your present” sides — what women are really talking about is commemorating their baby’s birth. Let’s face it: to the women who don’t ‘get’ presents (as in, don’t understand), it does seem kind of selfish to want a separate gift just for having a baby. But on the flip side, it must seem rather sanctimonious (at least, according to a couple commenters…) to say that you shouldn’t receive a gift after having a baby.
It really just comes down to, how are you going to commemmorate your baby’s birth?
These recent articles here are actually the first time I’ve ever heard of a “push present.” And my husband and I are not really the gift-giving type: we frequently don’t even exchange Christmas or birthday presents. That is just not how we are. So, frankly, the entire idea baffled me.
I watched the comments section and noted women taking strong positions on each side, and some even resorting to name-calling of those who didn’t share their opinions! I found that very sad. I can’t believe that we can’t disagree or express opinions without assuming that the other side is selfish or sanctimonious or some other such nonsense.
But what I took away from it was this: all these women were simply commemorating their baby’s birth, in the way that they felt comfortable.
One commenter mentioned “The Five Love Languages,” and I thought this was very appropriate. We all “speak” love in a different way. So for some, gift giving is their “love language,” and exchanging meaningful gifts (both giving and receiving) is how they choose to commemorate special occasions. Perhaps these people are the ones who believe in “push presents!”
Others look for quality time, or acts of service, or words of affirmation, or physical touch — the other four love languages. Some women may find cuddling with their new baby — physical touch — to be the only “gift” they need. Others want to hear their husbands say what an amazing job they’ve done — words of affirmation. Still others want their husbands to help them during pregnancy, birth and postpartum — acts of service.
None of these are “wrong,” it just depends on the mom!
Here are some ways to commemorate your baby’s birth:
*A special pendant with your baby’s name and birthday, or a locket with a picture of your baby
*A tattoo of your baby’s footprint
*A ring with your baby’s birthstone (some women get one ring with all the birthstones in them)
*A scrapbook of pictures from the special day
*A love letter from husband to wife about what an amazing job she’s done, or from mother to child about future hopes and dreams
*A husband who takes extra time off work to help the wife and get to know the new baby (this would be my pick!)
*A special date night right before the baby comes
*A husband who is very hands-on during labor, helping to relieve pain with massage and so forth
*A toast with a special drink (wine, if you drink; perhaps sparkling cider if, like me, you don’t)
*A small “birthday party” with a cake and visits from friends
There are so many ways to commemorate your baby’s birth; far more than I could ever list here. And doing so is a special way to celebrate the day that your baby enters, and forever changes, your life.
How did/will you commemorate your baby’s birth?
Top image by alicegop