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Congrats! 10 Cynical and Sarcastic New Baby Cards

I’ve always enjoyed a bit of well meaning sarcastic humor. I’ll never intentionally tell a joke to hurt your feelings, or maliciously make fun of your situation, but a perfectly place snarky joke will make me chuckle every time. Irony, I love it.

For instance, sure babies are miracles, and precious, and beautiful, and all that jazz. But they’re also a lot of work, oftentimes messy, and make tons of noise. The first few weeks caring for a newborn are blissfully exhausting, you can’t deny it.

So when showering your friends and family with love and support during this new and challenging time in their life, how about making a little funny out of it? Lighten the mood a bit, right?

That’s why I love sending (somewhat naughty) congrats cards.

In this digital age, there is just nothing better than getting a greeting card in the daily mail, amidst the piles of bills and junk.

And as always, when you’re giving something just a tad “off color”, it’s best to know your audience well.

10 cynical, sarcastic, and maybe a wee bit naughty cards to send to new parents:

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  • Congrats on Missing Out! $3.00 1 of 10
    Congrats on Missing Out! $3.00
    Nothing like saying congrats by reminding the expecting mom on all the things she's going to miss out on.
    Purchase: Smack of Jellyfish
  • Oops, You’re Pregnant! $3.00 2 of 10
    Oops, You're Pregnant! $3.00
    Sometimes pregnancy is a surprise. Nothing like calling it like you see it in a greeting card!
    Purchase: Paper Street Studio
  • Glad It’s Not Mine, $3.00 3 of 10
    Glad It's Not Mine, $3.00
    It's ok, why don't you say how you really feel.
    Purchase: Bipolar Betty Goods
  • Congrats! It’s a Tax Deduction 4 of 10
    Congrats! It's a Tax Deduction
    And all the moms due the first week of January are hoping to go a week early, just to get this card.
    Purchase: Egg2Cake
  • Parentnoia, $3.00 5 of 10
    Parentnoia, $3.00
    Yes, becoming a parent might make some paranoid. There's a word for that: Parentnoia.
    Purchase: Egg2Cake
  • Poop Town, $3.20 6 of 10
    Poop Town, $3.20
    Poop town welcomes you.
    Purchase: My lil Secrets
  • You Did It Like Rabbits! $3.50 7 of 10
    You Did It Like Rabbits! $3.50
    We know what you did, bow chica bow!
    Purchase: Wry And Ginger
  • A Baby Is Brewing, $4.25 8 of 10
    A Baby Is Brewing, $4.25
    Didn't know that IPA now stands for "intense pain ahead"? Now you do.
    Purchase: Queen of Hearts Paper
  • It’s a Boy (tee hee), $6.00 9 of 10
    It's a Boy (tee hee), $6.00
    Open the diaper, and prepare to laugh like a 12 year old.
    Purchase: Wenditz
  • It’s a Fun Sized Human! $3.35 10 of 10
    It's a Fun Sized Human! $3.35
    Yes, babies are human too.
    Purchase: Do De Line Design

Didn’t get enough snark? Check out 10 more witty gems sure to get a rise.

Read more from Emily on DesignHER Momma.
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