Dear Pregnancy Acne,

NOT covering my face because something smells.

It’s not you. It’s me.

I realize it’s been a while since we’ve bonded, you and I. I’d say it’s been a solid 14 + years since we’ve been close.

As hard as this may be, you need to know that I’VE MOVED ON.

You should too. It’s what is best for the both of us.

Things have changed. Time has matured me way beyond 13 years old.

I wash my face more than I did back then. There are better face cleansing products that I am aware of now. Believe it or not, I have even treated myself to an occasional facial. My diet has changed… OK, it hasn’t really, but that’s not the point.

It’s better for you to move on and quit this obsession with me. You’ve got to let me go. This just isn’t a healthy relationship anymore.

There are plenty of teens and tweens for you to invade the lives of. You have so much to look forward to, prom nights and first dates. You get to teach young, impressionable girls how to apply too much makeup.

The possibilities for you are endless.

I would say that I hope we can remain friends, but we both know that doesn’t happen. So let’s just call this what it is and officially break up. Move on, pregnancy acne. Release me from your shackles.

And go bother Selena Gomez.