I am 36-weeks pregnant today.
I woke up this morning at 3:00 a.m., heaved the enormity of my pregnant body out of bed, and began a hobbled approach to the toilet.
There is nothing unusual about this pattern, except this time, when my right foot hit the floor to follow the left, a sharp hot pain cut into my hip, then up my back, and I nearly hit the floor. After trying to step again, I realized that I couldn’t walk. I could not walk.
Some assistance from my husband and ten minutes of stretching gave me the use of my legs again, but apparently, my sciatic nerve is going on strike for the rest of this pregnancy.
Yes, pregnancy is beautiful. I am grateful to be pregnant, and pray that I can make it to full term to delivery a healthy child. Yes, yes, yes — blah, blah, blah. I feel as if I need to justify what I am about to say because of so many variables that might upset someone else, but, at this dire moment of my third trimester, pregnancy officially BLOWS.
It’s funny, because I never reached this kind of boiling point with my first pregnancy. I was reasonably uncomfortable, but I could still walk, and I could still sleep one or two hours every night.
I think that my frustration this time is also made worse by the fact that I have a toddler who really needs me to be present. I feel like I’ve checked out on motherhood to some degree for the entirety of this pregnancy, and that makes me so sad.
Hyperemesis gravidarum wrecked my first 30 weeks, and my body has just completely failed me in the third trimester.
I am also fully conscious of the fact that I never want to do this again. I just can’t. Frankly, I suck at pregnancy.
Did you reach a point in your pregnancy when you were just completely over it?