Drink 32 ounces of liquid and don’t pee for an hour.
Don’t eat for at least 12 hours.
Drink this highly concentrated sugar water and hang out without any food or drink for an hour before we take some blood.
The last one was what I had to do today. It was the dreaded glucose test to check for gestational diabetes. While not a necessarily difficult test, I find this one to be low on the enjoyment scale.
It starts with the patient having to drink 10 ounces of a really really sugary drink over the course of five minutes. That’s it. If you can’t get it down in five minutes…well, I’m not sure what would happen because I’ve hit that mark each of the three times I’ve taken it. But it isn’t easy. I have always had the orange flavor and thankfully the lab I go to refrigerates them because I’m pretty confident I would not be able to drink it all in five minutes if it was warm. If I had to compare it to something else I think it would be the orange drink you can get at McDonald’s if it had been boiled down into a concentrated version.
Doesn’t that sound yummy?
After sucking down this concoction in five minutes you get to pleasure of sitting in the waiting room for the next hour while the sugar solution works its way through your body. Within ten minutes I could feel the jolt of sugar pumping through my sleepy self and making me jittery and a little dizzy. Good times. When the hour is finally up the technician—who looks like an angel bringing you a message of joy—calls you back to draw blood.
If all is well and the numbers are on the correct side of the chart then carry on. If not—or if you are borderline like I was with my first pregnancy—you get to come back for the three hour test. Which means instead of sitting there for one hour and having blood drawn you get to sit there for three and have blood drawn once every hour for a total of three blood draws. Oh, and you have to fast the night before for that one.
Who came up with the idea that a pregnant woman should not be able to eat in the morning before sitting around having blood drawn for three hours? It had to have been a man. I’d like to punch him in the junk for that genius idea.
I’m hoping to be well below the mark this time so I don’t have to go through the test again. I could also use a nap now that the drink has coursed its way through my body. Crash and burn baby. Crash and burn.
Have you taken the glucose test before? How was it for you?
Want to read more of my story? Check them out here.