Getting Pregnant on Birth Control, Faking Labor & No Epidural - The Birth Story of My 2nd ChildMolly Thornberg
My 2nd child was a birth control baby. I was on the Nuvaring, but God had other plans for our family. We had a 16 month old little girl when WHAM, pregnant!
It was Labor Day 2004, Aunt Flow was late to arrive, and I had been sleeping like mad. 2 positive pregnancy tests later – I realized Aunt Flow wasn’t planning on stopping by for a while. She was on vacation.
After the hell I had with the epidural with Z, I didn’t want to go thru labor, pain or anything of the such again. This made the pregnancy harder. I seriously was in denial the first several months. Morning sickness owned me for around 5 months with fatigue.
We decided not to find out the sex of the baby. We wanted to be surprised and kept thinking the mystery of not knowing the sex would give me a focus if I was going to deliver this baby with no drugs.
The long pregnant days turned into long pregnant weeks. The long pregnant weeks turned into even longer pregnant months. FINALLY. The 40 week marker approached, but no baby in site. My doctor had told me she was trying to get me an induction date. Come to find out, the fancy hospital I was looking forward to delivering in, – was booked. The soonest the doctor’s office could get me in was at 42 weeks.
I went into the doctor at 40 weeks and 6 days. I was crying in pain, miserable and only dilated to a 2. The doctor took one look at me and said, we have to get that baby out of you. She had a plan to get me in to be induced. I would FAKE LABOR.
It wasn’t as simple as faking labor. We had a plan surrounding this. See the hospital’s labor and delivery department was a busy one but mostly dealing with c-sections and inductions. As we’ve all read – those are scheduled and typically around the doctors schedule – Monday thru Friday. The Labor and Delivery Department was dead on Friday nights. The hospital has a policy that when a patient comes in thinking she is in labor, it’s protocol to call the doctor to get orders on what to do. I would go in on a Friday night, saying my contractions were about 10 minutes apart and that I was 41 weeks. The nurse would call the doctor, the doctor would say “oh gosh, she came in yesterday and I figured she would go into labor soon, go ahead and induce her.”
Yes. I know this is lying, but this 41 week pregnant mom was in pain and miserable. All was true, minus the contractions.
I was at ease. I knew the plan. I was determined to not have the same experience as I did the first time around. I was taking control. Thursday I notified work I was delivering and took Friday off.
Friday, my sister and I had lunch. My mom was going to take Z while we had the baby, she offered to make a homemade dinner before we headed to the hospital. Bags had been packed. We were ready to roll.
As we ate dinner at my mom’s house that night I started feeling these off beat contractions and pain. No consistency. I wasn’t worried. We kissed Z good-bye and we headed to Sonic.
I wanted a Diet Coke. I KNEW the hospital wouldn’t let me take a Route 44 Diet Coke into L&D – I had a plan for that as well. We pulled up to this hospital, I flipped the Route 44 over, dumping out all of the Diet Coke but left the Diet Coke flavored ice. It was perfect.
My husband was energized, finally his miserable wife would give birth and we’d meet our new little girl or boy. He helped me out of the car, I was still getting my stuff as he hurried into the hospital, with my fake contraction story in hand. As I turned to walk into the hospital…
WHAT?! DID I JUST PEE MYSELF? No way, I kept walking. *leak* uhm. WHAT?
I screamed “Either my water just BROKE or I just peed.”
Apparently it was my water. Right there on the hospital lawn. My water broke. Disgusting, but we didn’t have far to go. It was 11:30 pm when we pulled up.
I was given a wheel chair and the story was no longer a lie as contractions became intense QUICKLY. By the time the nurses got me back to a room, I was having contractions 2 minutes apart. On first check I was a 7. BOO-YA from 2 to 7, we were going to have a baby and QUICK.
The anesthesiologist was sent in, even though I had constantly said “NO!” to the epidural. I shooed them off another time, we were NOT going to go thru what we did with Z! I breathed thru contraction and contraction – YELLING for the nurse the baby was coming. Bound and determined, I was doing this epidural FREE – all NATURAL birth, I needed to do this for ME.
“We can’t get a hold of your Doctor.”
Let’s call this phrase the #1 thing you don’t tell a patient who is delivering naturally and feels as if the baby is CROWNING.
This was at 2 am. WHAT? I reminded her that in birthing class we were told that nurses have many times delivered minus a doctor. I didn’t need a doctor I needed this baby out, it was coming – QUICK.
One of the clearest memories is my husband watching Conan O’Brien on re-run on the television. I heart Conan. But in labor, NO THANK YOU.
3:00 rolled in – I was having this baby. I was at a 10. Doctor or not – here baby comes.
The room was prepped – the anxiety was high – and I just needed to push. The doctor shows up and goes to wash her hands. The nurse yells at her, “SHE’S HAVING THIS BABY.” The doctor quickly slides 1 glove on – I vividly remember her RING – she didn’t have time to get another glove on. And we had a baby, just like that. It was a crazy high – the baby was ready and He arrived on his timing and QUICK yep…
IT WAS A BOY!
Our sweet E was born. I couldn’t get over the feeling of I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR and DELIVER A BABY DRUG-FREE and feel so great.
It was awesome, I had energy (thank you caffeinated Diet Coke Sonic ice cubes!). We didn’t call anyone. It was our time with our new baby. He was absolutely perfect. So sweet. So perfect. And there was another bonus.
It was May 7th, my husband’s birthday! He looked just like my husband, side burns and all. We knew right then and there, the our son’s first name would share with my husband.
After 3 hours of loving on our new baby E, we made the calls telling everyone they could find out when they showed up to the hospital :). Shortly after we were showered with family loving our baby boy, and he met his big sister, now known as his BFF.
Though E was a surprise gift from God, E was seriously the best baby. He slept well. No colic. Ate well. No allergies. And was just so darn cute, and still is.
Thank you GOD. I know this 4th child (who was ALSO a surprise gift from YOU) will also be so wonderful.