Tales From the Delivery Room 1 of 26
After he saw the placenta he said he was in the mood for meatloaf. — Submitted by Tabitha
Tales From the Delivery Room 2 of 26
Big fat bribe
"Hey doc, I'll throw you an extra 100 bucks if you throw in an extra stitch!" — Submitted by Cindy
Tales From the Delivery Room 3 of 26
Sew not funny
My hubs said, Is this when we joke about the extra stitch? when my doctor was about to sew up my episiotomy. The doc, without missing a beat, says, Yes, but no one ever laughs.
— Submitted by Meredith
Tales From the Delivery Room 4 of 26
Better than science class
"Oh neat, I can see your insides!"
— Submitted by Kimberly
Tales From the Delivery Room 5 of 26
"Is that mine? I could have killed him.
— Submitted by Stephanie
Tales From the Delivery Room 6 of 26
Oh my God, can you feel that?!
— Submitted by Monique
Tales From the Delivery Room 7 of 26
I have no desire to see any of this.
— Submitted by Angela
Tales From the Delivery Room 8 of 26
Getting ahead of himself
As the baby was crowning, he said: Aw, the baby's so small! You can do this! He didn't realize that crowning was only the very top of the head.
— Submitted by Ginger
Tales From the Delivery Room 9 of 26
Right after my son came out my boyfriend said, Did you see his balls? They're massive!
— Submitted by Tricia
Tales From the Delivery Room 10 of 26
While pushing: OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! I see his head! I stopped pushing: What the hell? You sucked his head back up! I was very close to kicking him out of the room.
— Submitted by Eryn
Tales From the Delivery Room 11 of 26
My husband complained about his back hurting from standing so long while I was in labor. Bad move, buddy.
— Submitted by KC
Tales From the Delivery Room 12 of 26
The Irish hubs said, Where is the closest liquor store?
— Submitted by Kristen
Tales From the Delivery Room 13 of 26
Not very cord-ial
When asked to cut the cord, he told the doctor thats what we pay him for!
— Submitted by Rachel
Tales From the Delivery Room 14 of 26
It smells like birth in here! Wow, you think?!
— Submitted by Dena
Tales From the Delivery Room 15 of 26
Bit of a stretch
Will it ever go back to its normal size?
— Submitted by Timand
Tales From the Delivery Room 16 of 26
A moo-ving experience
My hubby worked on a farm at the time and as I was waiting to push, he said, It's no different than a cow giving birth. Then my doctor decided to say, "Yeah, at least we won't have to hook up chains to pull out the baby like they sometimes do."
Yes, thank you, honey, for telling me I look like a cow in labor I love you, too.
— Submitted by Rachel
Tales From the Delivery Room 17 of 26
He put on his scrubs to go in with me. On top of getting his mask stuck and tangled in his beard, he told the nurse doing my catheter, Its okay, I'm a doctor. I can't take him anywhere!
— Submitted by Lesley
Tales From the Delivery Room 18 of 26
Third time's a charm?
Baby #3. Daddy is an expert, mommy has no drugs, mommy is in pain. He says, You should be used to this by now, dear.
— Submitted by Jody
Tales From the Delivery Room 19 of 26
About 36 hours into labor, he's watching the contractions on the monitor, where the line goes up and back down showing each contraction and the intensity. Well, for some reason, you can see the line go up before I could feel it. He says, Whoa! Here comes a HUGE one! Not what I wanted to hear when just a minute prior I was SURE I was going to split in two!
— Submitted by Heidi
Tales From the Delivery Room 20 of 26
Are your feet clean? Who freaking cares?! Theres what feels like a watermelon coming out of my hoo-ha, I dont care if my feet are clean!
— Submitted by Michaela
Tales From the Delivery Room 21 of 26
Smells like an inappropriate moment
"Did you poop? 'Cause it smells like you might have."
— Submitted by Jessica
Tales From the Delivery Room 22 of 26
"Is this what it's supposed to look like?" Talking about our first covered in goo!
— Submitted by Christie
Tales From the Delivery Room 23 of 26
The demon inside her
After I had my son, I asked my husband how things went because I was in and out during labor due to meds. He said, Your stuff came alive like a monster.
— Submitted by Jamie
Tales From the Delivery Room 24 of 26
Men can be such dogs
When pushing, the nurse told me to get on all fours — that it would help. My husband says something along the lines of "Oh yeah, doggie style ... That's how the baby got in there!" with both our mothers standing by.
— Submitted by Samantha
Tales From the Delivery Room 25 of 26
At least he's free
My hubby said he'd be my dude-la (cooler male version of a doula, I guess).
— Submitted by Tricia
Tales From the Delivery Room 26 of 26