Early on in this pregnancy, well, even before I was pregnant, I decided that I wanted no further dealings with the hospital because of numerous things that had happened with the twins. I wanted to have my baby in a field, on a blanket, with someone in the background making sure it was all okay but… I essentially wanted to be left alone. I didn’t want to go for checkups. I didn’t want to be on any kind of nausea medication. I just wanted to have a pregnancy where I wasn’t poked and prodded and constantly on edge.
So for my first few check-ups, I went to a local birth center. It was a home converted into birthing rooms and I loved its simple approach to having a baby. I felt out of place, but I figured that I was just used to seeing an OB.
I saw them 3 times over the first 9 weeks. Each time, the feeling of uneasiness set in a little more. They couldn’t prescribe any medication, so the hyperemesis gravidarum that came back (surprise!) had to be dealt with by a doctor. They didn’t provide ultrasounds, meaning I had to find someone who would. They also seemed wary of my past two pregnancies – a 30 week 90% effacement with Bella that put me on 6 weeks of bedrest and losing my twins at 20 weeks due to pPROM.
Midwives deal with low risk pregnancies, so I’m not speaking against them. They were doing their job. I just didn’t know if I could handle what I thought I wanted, or if it truly was in my or this baby’s best interest.
I ended up calling an OB who specialized in high risk pregnancies and, working closely with an MFM, she accepted me as a client. Unsure of what to expect, I went to see her at 11 weeks for a check-up. I was curious to see if she thought I needed more monitoring, even this early on.
Turns out, both her and the MFM classified me as a high risk and assured me that it didn’t mean something would or even was wrong, but that it opened up far more doors for a healthy pregnancy. Their extensive testing this time found that I carry genes that cause me to have hard pregnancies.
I love what midwives provide. I think they play a crucial role in normalizing low risk births and the care of women. I’ve come to accept that for this pregnancy, low risk care is simply not for me. My goal is to have a healthy baby in the end, regardless of what it takes to get it here.
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