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From Heartache to Happiness

My pregnancy with my daughter was a complete shock for my husband and me. We were only married for a little over a year and talked about trying for a baby after our two year anniversary. So it came as a huge surprise when I saw the little plus sign on the pregnancy test, especially because I was on birth control.

We started talking about having a second baby shortly after the beginning of this year. Our daughter, Harlan, was 15 months at the time and we thought that two years would be the perfect age between the two kids. Because getting pregnant was so easy for us the first time, we figured that it would be a breeze for us this time as well.

In early April I stopped my birth control and we were ready to start trying. It was a little more nerve racking for me this time around because I was actually expecting it and waiting for the pregnancy to happen. I remember taking a pregnancy test just days after my first missed period. The first test was negative. Guess we will just have to wait another month, I thought to myself. A week later and still no menstrual cycle, I took another test. This time, I saw two lines instead of one. I was pregnant again. And on our first try, to say the least.

My husband expected it to happen quickly, but I didn’t expect it to happen that quickly. For weeks I tried to let the pregnancy settle in, but for some reason I just couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that I was truly pregnant with my second child.

We told no one about the pregnancy, because it was so early along. We didn’t tell anyone about Harlan until after the first trimester. I just wasn’t comfortable with it.

Just two weeks after getting a positive pregnancy test, I started spotting. I hadn’t gone to the doctor yet to confirm and because we are living in a different city than when I was pregnant with Harlan, I had never even met my OB before. When I called the doctor to see if I could get in right away she couldn’t see me. The office told me that some spotting was normal and to just come into the office the next day. I couldn’t wait that long. I rushed to the emergency room in tears wanting answers.

They ran tests, did exams, performed an ultrasound, and after three long hours said that the baby was fine but that I was at high risk for a miscarriage and needed to go on bed rest. Just two days later, and one day before my 27th birthday, I lost the baby. I was 6 weeks along.

Heartbroken and terrified, I kept from telling anyone about the miscarriage. It was so unexpected (as any miscarriage is.) I was young, got pregnant easily with my first, and right away with this one. I just didn’t understand how or why this could happen.

Determined to get pregnant again, we started trying as soon as my doctor gave us the go ahead. Four weeks after my miscarriage I started to feel a little sick. I didn’t think anything of it and actually put off calling the doctor. My thought was that if I was pregnant, I’d rather not know right now just in case something were to happen.

After two weeks of throwing up almost every morning, I caved and made an appointment for my doctor. I couldn’t take the nausea any longer and needed to figure out what was going on. I still had not taken a home pregnancy test, but both my husband and I knew in the back of our minds that I was pregnant.

Two days before a family vacation, I anxiously waited in the doctors office. The doctor came into the room confirming the news that I knew all along. I was pregnant. We did an ultrasound and saw the little one on the screen. I was just over 6 weeks along. I had gotten pregnant right after my miscarriage. Blessed by God with another child.

I am now 17 weeks along and couldn’t be happier. Things haven’t been the easiest this time around, but I’m not going to complain, because there is nothing in the world like being pregnant.

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