Think of the wonderful time we’d all have, just like Gisele’s recent experience, celebrating the joys and sensations of pregnancy and newborn care in supreme celebrity comfort, feeling so good about our organically-fed, water-birthed baby as the fresh hind milk burbles up and your sexy, hall of fame husband cuddles you and the tot. Damn right this should be the law!
And the world where every woman was by law a supermodel married to studly but sensitive gridiron field general would be a vibrant and egalitarian one. No mother would have to scrimp for a pricey pump, scramble for breaks in the day — whether back to work or doing the work of home –to extract the milky goodness. Moreover, we wouldn’t have to deal with those incredibly important, but let’s face it, truly boring and unsexy issues like better parental leave options, more access for poor women to decent lactation support, wide-spread education about breastfeeding and nutrition in general, and support for working moms who want to breastfeed. Ugh. I’m about to throw up and fall asleep at the same time just thinking about those topics.
No, if Gisele’s amazing idea is made law, we’ll all just be breastfeeding and doing all those supermodely things we can only imagine, and often do. And for the women who still decide to use formula, maybe because their tiny supermodel breasts just don’t produce enough milk, well, that’s what we have prisons for.
Seriously, I don’t mean to be harsh, because the fact is Gisele is talking about things I really believe in, but when people in privileged positions make sweeping, ill-informed statements like that, which don’t take into account the complexities of the issue for rest of us, it can do serious damage to the cause of making breastfeeding an acceptable and shame-free option for American mothers.
So, I am with you in spirit, Gisele, but not in word. Say it better next time.
Photo: Gabriel Marchi/Flickr