My Home Birth Story

It didnt go as planned, but it was magical

On November 27th, 2010, I gave birth to my third son, at home, un-medicated, in a tub. Think I’m crazy? Well, I might have been, but I wasn’t afraid. My first two births were uneventful – they each took about three hours in a traditional birth center/hospital setting. I figured having this baby at home would be just like having it a birthing center, except I could be in the comfort of my house without additional distractions or intervention. There’s a saying, “We make plans, God laughs.” Well, I think in my case, she was actually rolling on the floor and wetting her pants.

My husband, Brian, and I knew we had an action-packed Thanksgiving weekend ahead of us – having this baby boy was not on the itinerary (he wasn’t due until mid-December) – and I was determined to go to one last adult party before being shackled to a newborn. The holiday came and went without incident. Brian got up the next morning at the crack of dawn to face a mob of crazed Black Friday shoppers and enjoy a hockey game. I slept in. That was the last good night’s sleep I’d get for awhile.

Around 5 p.m., I made dinner, got my kids bathed and waited for Brian to get home. When he got back around 7, I told him I’d been having Braxton Hicks contractions most of the day. I didn’t want to be the girl who cried “labor,” so I put off bothering our midwife, Jenna. Then, around 10:30, my son Bryson tried to crawl into bed with us. I had to send him back to his room – the pain had increased so much I couldn’t even hold a conversation. So I just lay there, changing positions every few minutes to help relieve the mounting pressure as my husband snored peacefully.

For the next half-hour, I walked around, washed dishes, took a bath, but nothing seemed to help. Finally, about 10 minutes to eleven, as I was walking up the stairs carrying an exercise ball, I felt a warm trickle stream down my legs. It wasn’t a watery flood of amniotic fluid like you see in movies, but more of a bloody one. I knew at that moment I had lost my mucus plug.

I calmly went back into my room where my husband was still sound asleep and, although I was gentle, I might as well have used a bull horn and told him the bed was on fire by the way he shot up. It was time to call Jenna.

I knew in my gut this baby would arrive soon, but Jenna was not convinced. She asked what was happening, how I felt, and said that this was probably just the beginning stage of labor. She recommended I call her back in 30 minutes. That’s when I decided to completely ignore her medical advice and demanded she get there, NOW! I explained to her that I’d never lost my mucus plug before, and I knew after the hours of “fake” contractions that this had turned into the real deal.

A few minutes later, Brian called my mom so she could start her hour-long drive to our house. I went back to bed and that’s when things really started to pick up.

The contractions got increasingly agonizing, like a vice grip taking over my massive belly. Thankfully they only lasted about 30 seconds (I would count down each time, praying it wasn’t a second over). I lay on my bed or sat on my ball and tried to keep my breathing under control. Meanwhile, Brian began filling the birthing tub with water. I had no idea this would require him to helplessly clutch a hose against a shower head that didn’t fit as water sprayed his face, poor man. (If you are using a tub, make sure you have figured out how to fill it before going into labor.) Forty-five minutes later Jenna arrived.

It was now a quarter after one in the morning and I was ready to get in that tub! Normally I would rather pluck my toenails out one by one while watching Jersey Shore than walk around naked in front of anyone. I had planned on wearing a bikini top in the water so I wouldn’t feel so exposed, but it’s funny how when you’re in labor, all modesty goes right out the window. I threw my nightgown off so fast you would have thought I was Jenna Jameson.

The water felt amazing; the warmth and buoyancy definitely relieved some pressure. I sat for a while, but still wasn’t quite comfortable, so Jenna suggested I get on my knees. Booty in the air, I faced my husband as we breathed through each contraction (thank God my kids weren’t awake). The breathing, in combination with the cooling water, sent chills through my body. A few minutes later my mom arrived. The only words I could groan to her were, “Hi mom” and “turn that camera off!”

I could feel the increasing pressure and knew my baby was going to make his grand entrance soon. Even though I was letting out freakish grunts, Jenna was perfectly calm and soothing. My last yell actually woke Bryson up; he knocked on the door and, in a flash, the pain was over. Our new baby, Nolan, had pushed himself into this world with little effort from me. It was magical.

I quickly turned back to a sitting position and grabbed my baby boy up from under the water. I couldn’t believe it was over. There was no intervention, no dangling IVs or bothersome nurses. The room was quiet and all that existed was our baby and sweet tears of joy. After less than two hours of active labor, Nolan Steele Walsh was in my arms.

Moments later Brian brought Bryson in to meet his baby brother and my mom woke up Tyler, who thought he was dreaming. We all gathered on our bed and relished the amazing miracle that had just taken place. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect birth.

Comments

23 Responses to “My Home Birth Story: It didn’t go as planned, but it was magical”

  1. Awesome!!

  2. yay! fun birth story :) i had #2 at home after #1 was born with no complications a few minutes after getting to the hospital. it is really stinkin awesome to have your baby at home, there is truly nothing like it!

  3. Kat you are SO right. I couldn’t have imagined doing it any other way now. It’s a blessing to have experienced it!

  4. I think this is incredably irresponsible. now I’m sure so many people will disagree with me. My first child died as a newborn in the hospital. If I’d been at home she wouldn’t have lived the minutes it would have taken to get to a hospital. The doctors and nurses worked hard to keep her alive for over a day. If I would have been at home I would have never known. At least I gave her a chance at life. Hospitals aren’t evil. Life doesn’t go as planned. I had extremely good medical care during my perfect pregnancy. I will grieve the loss of my baby girl the rest of my life.

  5. Anonymous, I am so sad to hear of your loss. I can’t imagine the pain you have endured. Home births are not for everyone and my husband and I carefully weighed the pros and cons of doing it. We did our research and found that they can be just as safe, if not sometimes safer then a hospital birth. I would never do something that would endanger my child or myself. We had 2 mid-wives on hand and are only a short distance from our hospital. We made an educated choice, but like I said it is not the choice everyone can or should make. I just hope by sharing my story other women, who are low-risk, can know that they can have a beautiful birth at home, if they choose.

  6. I didn’t do home birth for the same reasons as Anon mentions. Well, that and I was not interested in being consumed by excruciating pain during labor, and rather enjoyed those “bothersome nurses” who procured the epidural for me that made my birth so much more pleasant. I was also glad for the “dangling IVs” that delivered the medicine necessary to progress my too-slow labor, and the oxygen that was available when my daughter’s heart rate decelerated…
    To be quite honest, I don’t understand the desire to birth a baby in your house, but if that’s what you really wanted, I’m glad it went well and you didn’t need immediate medical attention.

  7. I was low risk. My daughter needed a ventilator. I know you felt like you did the right thing and thankfully everything worked out for you. I had top medical care by some of the best doctors in the country. I have never heard of baby who died in a hospital who’s life could have been saved by being born at home. I know my opinion may not be popular and I used to feel the way you do. I never thought I would tragically lose my first child. never. I did everything right, did research, and still my child died. I could not have had a safe home birth, even though I met the critera.

  8. Anon I was not saying that any baby who died in a hospital could have been saved at home, all I was saying was that the risk is identical. Any baby in distress is transferred immediately to a hospital. Again I am so sorry for your loss.

  9. Every birth is different. I had no “excruciating pain”, my real labor only lasted 2 hours. I don’t discount what nurses do, however their job is to follow medical procedure, not do what is comfortable of helpful for the mother. Epidurals do block pain, but that also block the euphoric endorphins that your body releases, and I wanted experience everything. I don’t begrudge ANY woman for making such a personal choice as how to give birth. Each woman should make an informed decision on how to have her perfect birth. For me it was doing it at home.

  10. Like I said my baby would not have made it in transport. I know you think you are rig, but the risk is not identical. The statisicx of home births do not include babies who were transported and if they made it or not. I hate arguing with you about this, but you took risk that could have endangered you and your baby for sake of comfort.

  11. That supposed to say “right”. Auto correct on ipad…

  12. There is no argument here, I don’t think I’m right, I think I made the best choice for me. We have to remember that only for the last 100 years have hospitals been available for birth. Women have been giving birth with the help of mid-wives for centuries. I didn’t take a “risk” for comfort, I did it because I had faith in my body and the process. We as women have lost the the natural power to birth. Instead we rely on medical intervention to speed things up, slow things down, and to tell us when to push. I told my story to empower women, not to put them in danger. This recent study points to the fact that the rate of infant death is actually higher among hospital births. The outcome of the study was “Planned home birth attended by a registered midwife was associated with very low and comparable rates of perinatal death and reduced rates of obstetric interventions and other adverse perinatal outcomes compared with planned hospital birth attended by a midwife or physician.”

  13. Lucky you if you didn’t have excruciating pain! LOL!

  14. What a beautiful birth story–thanks for sharing!

    I had a hospital birth with my first baby, and I’ve had two wonderful homebirths since. Without medical indication, I’d never have another baby in a hospital again!

    I think one thing that people who have never had a natural birth at home can’t truly grasp is how much more manageable the pain can be when you’re comfortable, in your element, supported by people who are loving, attentive, and competent, and you have access to things like a birth tub, food, drink, etc. That is a very different physical and emotional feeling from being confined to a bed with few options for pain management that aren’t drugs. Yes, it hurts, but it is pain with a purpose. I can’t even begin to explain the high I felt when my babies were born–much more so than when endorphins are blocked by drugs. My recoveries were much faster after a home birth, as well.

    I felt confident that my midwives could handle any emergency that might come up (baby’s heart tones were checked regularly, my heart tones and BP were checked regularly, and we had oxygen, pitocin, and two midwives fully capable of neonatal resuscitation available, in addition to a hospital just blocks away.

  15. Lovely story, thank you!

    Anna, Sweden, 1 hospital + 3 home births

  16. I think your birth story is beautiful! I like you, chose an all natural, unmedicated birth, free from interventions. I was not comfortable with the idea of a homebirth because the hospital is a good 30-45 minutes away. I chose a stand alone birthing inn, that was only minutes from the hospital. I had a midwife & a birthing assistant who were both certified in neonatal recessitation. The birthing inn was beautiful, & comfortable- just like being at home, with a huge walk in shower, birthing tub, and large queen sized bed. My daughter came in 4 hours start to finish- very intense, but very worth it! I loved my birthing experience, and hope other women have faith in their bodies to try to do what it was intended for! I’m due again in July, & am planning to deliver all naturally at the birthing inn again!

  17. So NOT irresponsible! Congratulations on your new addition and congratulations on the confidence you had in yourself, your support system and the process! You.are.awesome!

  18. Awesome story and not “selfish” or “irresponsible”. Why is it irresponsible to do what statically is best for you and your baby (since you were clearly low risk and having an attended birth).

    In Europe, especially the Netherlands, homebirth is much more common and their maternal fetal stats are WAY better than the USA. If our births are so wonderful why are our stats so awful that Amnesty International as a campaign to lower the number of maternal fetal deaths in the USA? Why does Cuba statically have better birth outcomes? Birth in the USA isn’t as safe as we’d like to tell ourselves. Quite frankly, birth isn’t quite safe period. There are risks in all places (like that epidural you think is so great? Ask the women who have headaches for weeks afterwards because of it how much it helped. Yes there are risks (like of never walking again) with those too because ALL medical choices have risks.) Such is life. She’s not bashing you for feeling more comfortable in a hospital so don’t bash her for feeling more comfortable at home.

    Anyway sorry for the tangent and congrats on your baby. :)

  19. Katya B never apologize for a tangent (they keep me sane, lol). As women, we need to hate on each other less and become more informed and supportive of each others decisions. Thank you for commenting!

    LogicalMama- Thanks for the kind words. It was a liberating experience!

  20. @katya B- my sister’s best friend ended up on a respirator for at least 24 hours after the birth of her son b/c her epidural went bad!

  21. I love your birth story, especially since I had my own home birth baby on Nov. 27, 2010, too! It sounds like my experience was very similar to your birth except we didn’t get the birthing tub filled fast enough so my little man was born in my bed!

    Congrats to you!

  22. Beautiful story! I had 2 hospital births with epidurals and I realized that I felt like I was missing out of the experience. I wanted to feel the contractions, I wanted to work with my body to delivery my baby…not just lay around waiting for my doctor to tell me what to do next. For my 3rd baby (Also born November 2010!) I did a natural birth at a separate birthing center with midwives. It basically was like a home birth but just not at MY home. It was so completely amazing and I can’t wait to do it again if/when we have another (and maybe this time at my house if my husband will agree) :-) Thank you for sharing your story and showing what a great, beautiful option natural births can be.

  23. Wonderful story! I must say I got a wonderful laugh out of your comments about modesty:) I am the same way, but when I had my baby a month to the day after yours, that hospital gown came right off and I plunked myself in the tub- and I do mean plunk. Natural childbirth is definately the way to go :)