It has been a few months since my last miscarriage and while I am still grieving — the process is moving along pretty smoothly. I have been through this before, but that doesn’t make this any easier. There are days that are easier then others and some days it all seems to crash at me like it just happened. All normal in the process of perinatal grief — it is an ever moving journey.
For me, I wasn’t trying to get pregnant at the time. I am so ready for another baby, but at that time we were not trying (still not, boo) so my grief is not compounded (or triggered) when a pregnancy announcement is made. That is a very real reality for a lot of women though — the announcements can be a painful reminder of what you’ve lost and cause conflicting emotions we sometimes just don’t understand.
The conflicting feelings of being happy for your friend or family member and then feeling angry that you are no longer pregnant is normal to struggle with. It is important to face what you are feeling and talk it out with someone. If you’re not able to talk with your friend — find someone you can confide in.
Be honest with yourself and allow you to feel what you are feeling — it’s important not to judge yourself. Give yourself that space to feel the anger, jealousy or sadness — it does not make you a bad friend, it makes you human. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself — if you need to hide a Facebook feed, or give yourself some space for a little bit, that is reasonable.
For more tips on how to get through the triggers of pregnancy announcements while grieving your loss visit UnspokenGrief.com
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image credit: Ed Yourdon