When I sat down and planned some of the things I was going to write about, I realized this week I’d hit the second trimester this week and I was excited. What I didn’t know is that during my ultrasound on Wednesday we’d find out that the baby was measuring a week ahead and therefore we’ve actually been in the second trimester all week.
It took a little of my thunder away because there was no waking up and being excited that today was the day we exited the 1st trimester. But hey, I’ll take fast forward progression any day.
When I got pregnant I set my eyes on this transition, because I have heard things about the first trimester of pregnancy and I’m not going to lie, I wasn’t really looking forward to this part. I mean, the nausea, from the start, was a problem for me. Just the idea of it. And when it hit out of the blue one Monday morning, I began to pray for today. Because somehow in my mind the first day of the second trimester is when the nausea would vanish completely.
Yes, I am delusional.
The nausea is sometimes better, Monday it was worse than it has ever been. The aversions are sometimes better, but last night I couldn’t stomach the idea of my favorite salad at a restaurant. The fatigue is still bone crushing and the hormones are still super fun. I think on some level I hoped that the first day of the second trimester would be the day where the sun finally came out and all of a sudden I had a fraction of my libido, most of my energy and the desire to eat normal food again.
This is not the case. But I feel like the tiniest sliver of sun is starting to peek over the mountains of nausea and fatigue.
I can almost eat chicken now. I was able to sip a 1/4 of a cup of (DECAF) coffee without gagging. I successfully fed my cats 4 mornings in a row and only had to lay down after doing it once to manage the nausea. Granted, all of this is with the assistance of Zofran, but considering that even with Zofran I was spending my mornings gagging at everything, this is a pretty significant improvement. I have developed totally new indigestion and while it’s not all that pleasant, I’ll take it over the nausea any day.
The other part that I’m not sure I had completely prepared for is that the first trimester, though fairly unpleasant, was also the last trimester where things could at least pretend to be normal. Most people in my day to day life have no idea I’m pregnant. Even though I can’t wear any of my normal pants anymore, nothing about my appearance screams that there’s a lemon sized baby in my grapefruit sized uterus. I can pass for me. And in a few weeks, I imagine that will no longer be the case.
This is not necessarily a bad thing, but I think it’s part of the trade off of the second trimester. In the first trimester I felt like I wanted to crawl into a small hole and die, but I could pass myself off as normal to observers. In the second trimester, I might feel better, but my secret will be out and my life is going to soon stop being the normal I’m used to in a number of different ways. I imagine the third trimester will have a similar balance of good and not as good, I just haven’t let myself think far enough ahead to know what it is yet. Now that I’ve reached this goal, I’m trying to take things one day at a time.
I am pretty pleased to be starting this new phase of pregnancy, especially because it brings me one step closer to this baby, to motherhood, and to all the craziness that I’ve been waiting my whole life for.