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How Are You Feeeeeling?

I’ve apparently reached that physical stage of pregnancy that elicits the most annoying attention from co-workers.  Every time I walk into work, nonchalantly as you please, the same couple of people make it a point to single me out. I see them meaningfully approaching my desk from afar and brace myself for the inevitable question.

“How are you feeling?”

This question is posed with the head cocked oh so compassionately to one side, conveying the gravest of concern.  As if an immediate family member passed away last night or I’ve announced that I am undergoing chemotherapy or divorcing my husband.

Do some pregnant women enjoy this particular type of attention?  Because I certainly don’t.  I mean, what kind of response are they expecting?  The way the question is posed it’s like they want me to burst into tears and tell them that oh my god, I’m so glad you asked because I puked for ten solid minutes last night and then I slept in forty-five minute increments what with all the peeing, so there’s that.  And then my daughter woke up at five this morning and I didn’t have time to shower and shave my pits before work so I actually feel kind of dirty and also I feel bad and mad and sad and… Hey wait!  Where are you going?

Listen people.  Leave the pregnant ladies be, will you?  Don’t ask to touch our stomachs, don’t tell us we look good for five months pregnant, and please don’t tilt your head to the side and ask how we’re feeeeling.

Move along, nothing to see here.

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