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10 Reasons Why Having a Dog Has In No Way Prepared Me For a Real Life Baby

My dog Marley...the reason I'm totally unprepared for a baby.

Almost 4 years ago, right after my husband and I got married, we got a dog.  An adorable, fluffy, little German Shepherd named Marley to be precise.

I had had quite a few dogs when I was growing up, but this was my husband Craig’s first and he was determined that she would be the best dog in the world and basically she is.  She’s been the easiest dog ever…so easy that I’m afraid to ever get another one for fear it won’t be nearly as well-behaved and awesome as Marley.

Just to give you an idea, we got Marley when she was around 10 weeks old and within a week she was crate trained, almost potty trained and could sit when told.  Now she has a plethora of tricks, including letting herself out to go to the bathroom.  I know.  She’s basically perfect.

BUT…because Marley is so great and easy, I feel like she has absolutely and in no way prepared me for a baby.  People are forever trying to compare having a dog to having a child and many consider a pet to be a “practice child”, but I have to say that I have no such illusions.  If we’d had a stubborn, ill=behaved dog, then perhaps I’d be a little more prepared, but as of now, I’m going into this whole having a child thing blind.  I mean…I know a lot about children, but actually having a baby 24/7 is definitely going to be an adjustment and I’m pretty sure we won’t have her potty trained within a week.  Just saying.

Check out my 10 reasons why having a dog has in no way prepared me for having a real life baby after the jump!


  • Babies don’t sleep through the night for quite some time. 1 of 10
    Babies don't sleep through the night for quite some time.
    When we got our dog, she cried a little bit the first night and after that we were golden. Never even the slightest little whimper ever again. She'll stay on her bed until we wake up. Even if we happen to sleep for 12 hours straight, she'll just lay there patiently waiting for us to wake up. A baby? Not nearly so patient.
  • Babies don’t sit by the door when they have to go to the bathroom. 2 of 10
    Babies don't sit by the door when they have to go to the bathroom.
    A dog will ever-so-politely let you know when they have to go. You won't find out with a baby until after the blow out.
  • You actually have to physically feed a baby. You can’t just fill up a bowl and leave it to its own devices. 3 of 10
    You actually have to physically feed a baby.  You can't just fill up a bowl and leave it to its own devices.
    We can just leave out a bucket 'o dog food for Marley. The baby will require a lot more one-on-one attention when it comes to feedings.
  • You don’t have to dress a wriggling, crying dog. 4 of 10
    You don't have to dress a wriggling, crying dog.
    This photo is the one and only time my dog has ever worn clothes, so I really haven't had much practice with clothing a wiggly, little being. Maybe I can just let my baby be naked always. That sounds much easier than getting her dressed.
  • A baby won’t give you the same gratitude and respect as a dog. 5 of 10
    A baby won't give you the same gratitude and respect as a dog.
    Dogs love and respect you unconditionally and they're totally impressed with everything you do. Babies are totally unimpressed. They just want what they want and they want it now.
  • I can’t clicker train my baby. 6 of 10
    I can't clicker train my baby.
    Just like Pavlov we trained our dog using a sound + reward system. It was fairly simple. Babies require a little more effort in the "training" department.
  • I have to actually birth a baby. 7 of 10
    I have to actually birth a baby.
    This is a photo of Marley soon after we brought her home from the breeder. Unfortunately I won't just get bring my baby home without some effort on my part (i.e. child birth). I'm trying not to think too much about the whole birthing part though.
  • Babies don’t do cool tricks. 8 of 10
    Babies don't do cool tricks.
    Could a baby carry our groceries home from the store on a sled during a snowstorm? No way. Baby tricks are limited to pooping, eating, sleeping and crying. Dogs definitely have way cooler tricks.
  • You can’t leave a baby home alone when you want to go to dinner with friends. 9 of 10
    You can't leave a baby home alone when you want to go to dinner with friends.
    Even though Marley might get sad when we leave her home to go on a dinner date, she'll be fine. Babies need babysitters and require a little more planning when outings are involved.
  • Having a baby is way more expensive. 10 of 10
    Having a baby is way more expensive.
    Baby expenses are endless and their list of "supplies" is ever-growing. Who knew babies needed booger suckers or humidifiers? Dogs basically just require food and basic vet bills.

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