On Febuary 5th, 2010, I was getting ready to give birth to my third beautiful little girl Kennadi Audrey Monroe (yes, named after Jacqueline, Audrey and Marilyn) – almost a month and half early. Yes, I had her at 35 weeks. Weighing 4lbs 12oz when we left the hospital we were beyond blessed to spend no time in the NICU and leave with our baby girl.
However, when I got home it hit me how precious and dainty Kennadi really was. I don’t know if it was the anxiety of having a preemie and taking care of such a tiny little one or if I was just overwhelmed by the fact that she was so little. I went into serious post partum panic. I don’t know if it was quite depression, but I remember reaching out briefly on Twitter because I was having such an out of body experience of panic and it was awful, so so awful.
There was absolutely no reason for my anxiety. She wasn’t my first, she was my third. She had no health issues and it wasn’t like I had anything to worry about but for some reason, I just couldn’t control these awful feelings. I just couldn’t understand why. I felt like I was drowning. My family and husband were beyond supportive but for some reason, I continued to feel like I couldn’t get air.
I thank ONE person for truly taking a second to read my tweet and saving me. Yes, saving me. She made me realize I wasn’t crazy and things would be normal again shortly. So who is this so FABulous little lady I call my ”Post Partum Angel” - she is known as @LaStylistMom on Twitter.
It took a complete stranger to show me that there was light at the end of the tunnel. I learned that many people go through this and she suggested Brooke Shields amazing book “Down Came the Rain” to prove that I was not the only one. This was a person who tweeted me. A person I had never spoke to before. That second when I got her tweet and her number I called her. She dropped everything to help me and she did. I felt so much better just talking about it. And to do this day, I am so blessed to have had someone like her to just tweet into my life. She will always be a special friend in my life.
You would think that after having a miracle baby and going through a rough pregnancy I would be beaming with joy but the week or so after deliver was the roughest time of my life. And let me tell you, I was very thankful for my little cocktail of happy pills to get me through those teary nights.
I wanted to share my experience to let you know that is okay to seek help. Help is good and sometimes what you have to do to make it through another day. Whether it is post-partum or just the stressers of every day life - seeking help and learning on a supportive friend or doctor during a difficult time will make everything so much better.
Read through my tips on how I overcame this awful devil of a problem and how you can to. Always remember, this too shall pass.
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