How Much Thought Have You Put Into Your Upcoming Birth?
How much thought have you put into your upcoming birth, or what about your past birth experiences?
Did you just go through pregnancy listening to everything that everyone else told you, from friends and family members to OB/GYN’s and nurses in your provider’s office? Or did you sit down and read various books, medical studies, websites, and learn what you really want before heading to the hospital to meet your little one?
Not just one side of the studies but did you truly look at all the various sources on everything from epidurals to consistent fetal monitoring? Do you know the c-section rate of your hospital? Or what about the epidural percentage? How many first time mothers are induced, the policies about elective deliver before 39 weeks or even eating during labor?
When I was a first time mother, I didn’t bother looking any of these things up. I went by what I was told at all my appointments. I was the picture of a perfect patient, and just ‘yes’ed my provider to death. And that landed me with a crappy delivery, a crappy recovery, and years of emotional impacts from simply not taking charge of my own care as a patient. Of course, when I look back at it, there are a ton of warning signs that should have sent me running from the practice, but knowing I had very few options because of my insurance coverage, it discouraged me to make any moves. Instead I just brought my mother along to my appointments with me as backup while my husband worked long hours and tried to make as many ultrasound appointments as he could.
My thoughts on the subject as a whole got brought back up with the premiere of One Born Every Minute and some of the comments I read about the lone couple in the episode who wanted a natural birth, mostly comments I read on my own Due in May 2011 message board. I must say that looking back, I am sure I was the exact same way, but some first time parents are not only ignorant but cocky. They think it won’t happen to them. I thought it wouldn’t happen to me either. First mistake!
I think as time goes on, we all bite our tongues as parents, but one of my main goals is to help first time parents before they end up with the shitty delivery I did with my oldest.
Some of the things you should be thinking about even before getting pregnant or picking a prenatal care provider should really be your own thoughts on childbirth and what kind of birth you want. Clearly, if an epidural is your first priority you shouldn’t be looking into a midwife delivery at a birth center. But something you should look into is the risks verses benefits of epidurals in general. Childbirth as a whole is not fully risk free, so assess the risk of certain procedures.
You should look into the statistics of your local hospital, check out The Birth Survey, and see what other mothers who have been there and done that have to say about the hospital and the providers that you may choose for your delivery.
Being prepared before the fact is what is most important, not just showing up and going through the motions. Your delivery can and may impact you every day for the rest of your life. Making sure you can avoid things that may not sit well with you is important.
Take the time to become educated. This is after all your health and the health of your baby!
photo: flickr.com/davhor
With my first birth, it was a combination of both. I started out being a “good little patient” because I didn’t know any better. Once I connected with other moms and started doing my own research, I became a lot more proactive about making educated decision and making sure that I was informed about the risks and benefits of certain procedures. My goal was a natural hospital birth and what I got was a drug free hospital birth (I don’t consider it 100% natural because I was given an episiotomy against my wishes). Even with the episiotomy, I felt empowered and very proud of myself.
With my second birth, I was a lot more relaxed. I planned a homebirth with a midwife, but didn’t really do much preparation for the birth other than buying a birth pool and my birth kit. I had a rough birth plan in place and a support team in mind, bu the problem with my support team is that two of them (my mom and my doula) were coming from out of town. When I went into labor before my team arrived and before we had even blown up the birth pool, I freaked out. As a result, I ended up not handling my labor well at all and my vision of a peaceful homebirth went completely out the window. Surprisingly, my homebirth was not really empowering and I didn’t really feel proud of myself at all. I was embarrassed that I had been too arrogant to properly prepare myself for a homebirth and embarrassed that I pretty much tensed up and screamed bloody murder throughout my entire labor. Actually thinking about all of the screaming and freaking out that I did, I can’t help but wonder if that’s what caused my baby to pass meconium (since I didn’t have any interventions that would have triggered such a stress reaction). She was born with meconium stained fluid and low O2 levels. Even after being given oxygen, she was dusky and not pinking up which caused us to have to transfer.
So here I am with a 2 month old baby and I’m already planning my third birth even though it won’t be happening for another 2-3 years. I’m already researching midwives in the two areas that we’ll most likely be living in (CA or AZ) as well as doulas. I’ve already started a birth plan and already have a list of books I want to read as well as a list of classes that I want to take.
I’m starting to do more and more research now (26th week.) It’s my 1st and I was really freaked out by all the testing in the first trimester. It was very stressful for me. I didn’t want to freak myself out even more and too early about delivery. I think my birth plan will ultimately be to know every option available and not have a rigidly set birth plan. It seems like something where you can’t be too rigid, in case something goes wonky. I’m also studying up with my husband, so he can help me make informed decisions.
I did lots of research with #1 and then some more for #2. Check out a customizable sample natural hospital-based plan here: http://www.beyondprenatals.com/p/products-services.html
I think the idea of a strict birth plan and going into the process thinking that you will not deviate from your plan, is setting yourself up for failure and added grief. I am pregnant with my second and was fortunate to have a very easy and healthy delivery with my first. All I can hope for is that the same happens with my second.
You have no idea of what will happen until you are in the situation, so why not allow yourself open to all options. I think doing some research is key but it is also ok to trust in your healthcare provider, whether it be a doctor or midwife/doula. I myself would never consider a homebirth as it is not for me, and I trust my doctor and the nurses at my hospital, as I have no reason to doubt that they will not do everything in their power to ensure that I and my baby will receive the best possible care.
@Sarah – I don’t think women should set up “strict” birth plans by any means. I always like to use the term “birth wishes” instead of “plan” because by using plan it insinuates you can control every aspect of labor, which we know you cant. Although there are a lot of things that mothers can control. This is why I highly encourage doing the research and knowing what you want your backup plan to be if x,y, or z happen.
I planned my first birth rather extensively. I read 6 different books, took a 6-week class, and hired a doula. I started planning my second birth immediately after my first birth. I’m still not planning on even getting pregnant for another year or two, but I’m already planning on what I’d like for this birth.
This is my first pregnancy as well and I initially was set up with a not so great doctor and given minimal information about what was going on with me. Come to find out Ob-gyns are not going to readily give you all the info you need so I needed to do my own research and boy did I research. I was told by many moms to expect the unexpected and that a birth plan may not always work out. My “plan” is to have a natural birth following the Bradley Method. My husband has been great so far with helping me with all the exercises. There is much out there that I simply don’t think is right for me. I am more than likely going to come off at the hospital as the “difficult” patient but it is better to be difficult now and have at least some of your wishes repsected than to just do whatever comes your way and end up with a delivery out of your control.
I have heard the horror stories from some of my friends about their deliveries and how those feelings haunted them well after the birth and for some years to come. I think the more educated you are the better off you are about what is going on around you. Even if you end up just going with the flow, at least you know fully the advantages and risks of all the different things that can occur in the hospital.