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How To Be A Pregnant Model

pregnant models While searching for pregnancy news to relay, I came across this headline:

“How To Be A Pregnancy Model”

I wondered, what exactly DOES it take to be a pregnancy model? Does maternity wear come in sample sizes? What is the preferred ratio of basketball belly to perky butt? At what letter of the alphabet does your bra size disqualify you? Are they willing to airbrush out odd mushy bits, or must you be perfectly cellulite-free from every angle?

On their blog, the modeling agency Expecting Models answers none of these questions.

But they do offer some helpful hints for those hoping to break into pregnant modeling, or those wondering just where those perfectly proportioned pregnant women in magazines come from. (Hint: It’s the same planet the rest of the perfectly proportioned women in the world come from.)

According to Expecting Models, which bills itself as the world’s only pregnancy-focused modeling agency, the first thing you need to know about becoming a pregnancy model is that you must already be a model. Apparently, if you haven’t already had your big break into the modeling industry, pregnancy is not the time to make it happen.

Shucks. I guess that means I shouldn’t have another baby to try to get my catwalking career off the ground.

For those who happen to have professional experience (actors are also qualified), Expecting Models encourages photo submissions on their website, expectingmodels.com. You can see a portfolio of models represented by the agency on the site. Sort of the opposite of a reality check—perhaps best not to visit while feeling particularly low in the body image self esteem department.

I’m not sure why I found it even slightly surprising that the models in pregnancy magazines were all professional models before they got pregnant. It seems obvious. But for some reason I had the idea that some people might just happen to be more beautiful in pregnancy than at other times. I think I imagined pregnancy models might be some kind of specialty category, like hand or foot models. Or that standards might be slightly different in pregnancy. But in a way it’s sort of a relief to know that the professionally fabulous pregnant women are just professionally fabulous to begin with. Now they can return to their proper place in our aspirational hearts, members of a very special club we are genetically unqualified to enter.

If you enjoy watching the gorgeously gestating in action, the site includes Video Diaries chronicling the life and times of pregnant models. Reality TV pitch in progress as we speak, I’m sure.

photo: Paul Lowry/flickr

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