For many, the minute you get married is the same minute when you begin to endlessly hear: “So, when are you guys going to have kids?”
My husband and I have been married for five years this summer and have heard this question countless times. I would chuckle a little while thinking, “What the heck? My family planning is none of your business!” Over time I’ve realized that those asking the question are never trying to offend but rather trying to start what they perceive as an innocent and normal topic of conversation that all people talk about–family, friends, and strangers alike. Though we may imagine it from time to time, it is not like the asker was scheming to hurt feelings. With that in mind, a defensive and snarky response will just make things worse.
Here are some responses that you may hear to that question that will hopefully cue the asker to maybe discuss something else or just back off:
“We would love to have kids but are still waiting for it to happen.”
“Things aren’t working out as quickly as we would have liked so we are trying to be patient.”
“Our family consists of me and my spouse right now.”
“I look forward to the day when we can have kids.”
“That is a private matter between my spouse and I and I would rather not discuss it.”
Or, if the asker is close enough and you are comfortable with it, it may be good to share what you are going through. But, if someone is just being nosy, hopefully they can take a hint. Does any one else have any good responses whether polite or snarky?
image: I Love Typography