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I Gestated…I Gave Birth…I Should Get a Damn Gift!

If I said the delivery of either of my children was easy … I would be a liar. Inductions, C-sections, VBAC attempts, 26+ hour labors … Everything a woman wishes for when she dreams of motherhood and a child right?

While some may relish in these things … others simply aren’t a fan of them. Sure the healthy baby in the end is great and everything we always wanted, but what is wrong with a push present from our significant other to help show their appreciation, or love, for not only gestating, but going through the birthing process … whatever it may entail for that mom?

The other day Alyson wrote about push presents and how she thinks, of course, the healthy baby as the end result should really be enough for moms. And it got my wheels turning on so many different levels.

Before I get started on my slight rant, I want to say I think that the term push present is 110% obnoxious, especially considering a large population of women in our society today will never actually push a baby out. And honestly, I think going through a c-section is a hell of a lot harder than pushing, simply because of the risks and recovery. But I can’t say I have ever been in that position myself.

Do I think that mothers should get brand new cars or lavish jewelry for having a baby?  No … not really. But the thought that a woman should be happy with the baby as an end result after being the solo hand in getting the baby into the world in most cases sometimes isn’t enough.  Of course men help to create the life, but once that seed is planted, their job is done until that baby is on the outside, and of course the gift of the healthy baby in general is a gift to him also …

… As well as for the family, close friends, and everyone who essentially will be involved in the child’s life. A child is a blessing and gift for all involved, not just the mother.  Sure, many children will have the closest bond with their mother, but saying to a mother after all the hard work, “Here is your gift, now share it with all these people” seems a little unsettling to me.

And then there is the flip side of it. What happens if that mother who goes through pregnancy, birth, and all the motions ends up with a baby that isn’t healthy. Does that mean she is jipped out of a gift? Does she then actually deserve the gift?

Honestly, I think that way too little respect and appreciation is placed on mothers, not only by partners but by children and others around her. Why not take a couple minutes of your time to brainstorm a thoughtful gift to show your partner or wife how much you truly appreciate the miracle she has worked so hard to give you?

Seeing a third surgical delivery in the next 10 days of my life and knowing this is our last child and that all my husband has done to bring them into the world is sex … yeah! That warrants a gift!

photo: flickr.com/lindseywb

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