I am not new to anxiety. I’ve had it since I was a teenager, I’ve been dealing with it due to my perinatal losses, I have anxiety during pregnancy, but this doctor anxiety I have been experiencing is new to me.
I have never been a person who squirms from a doctor’s visit. I have a great relationship with both my family practitioner and my obstetrician and I have always felt comfortable going to either of them with any questions or concerns.
Since becoming pregnant, it’s been a whole different ball-game. I want to avoid my doctors like the plague. I want to avoid the early blood tests and ultrasounds. Anything medical goes to the bottom of my to-do lists. When I had to go to the hospital a few weeks ago due to hydronephrosis, my husband almost had to drag me there because I was determined to just deal with it at home. Not that it wasn’t painful as all get out, but I didn’t want to deal with doctors.
I have not gone to see my OB for a prenatal check up since the first one in the earliest days of this pregnancy. I should have gone a few weeks ago, but I still haven’t made that call. I had a blood requisition for all the standard pregnancy blood work that has needed to be done since April and I just got it a few days ago.
It’s not that I am avoiding the procedures because I feel they’re unnecessary. It’s not because I don’t think they’re important, and it’s not because I’ve been too busy. I just have so much (new to me) anxiety about doctors that I don’t want to deal.
When I was battling through infertility, I had to see my OB about once a month in addition to blood tests that checked my progesterone levels to see if the medication was working. I was so stressed out that it wasn’t working, I was so worried that it never would, and just before we got that positive pregnancy test, I was on track to take a break from all the doctors visits, all the blood tests, and all the worrying.
So, it appears I’ve been taking a break from it all regardless of being pregnant and it’s an anxiety that I do wish would go away.
:: Have you ever experienced doctor anxiety? Any advice? ::
Photo credit: istockphoto
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