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I Wish I'd Known....

Danielle KrollCan I just echo Nichole’s post today? I too am happy to be part of Redbook Magazine’s The Truth About Trying campaign. Not because I love seeing myself on a video (I promise I didn’t sit so close and I do have color in my face) but because I feel so passionate about talking about infertility. I want to help and strengthen other women going through it. Even though our stories are all different, we can still talk and be a support to one another. It is so hard and we can’t do it alone.

Redbook asked us to introduce our video by saying, “I wish I’d known…” While I could think of a hundred ways of how to end that sentence I chose to talk about the number one thing I have learned that has helped me through the ups and downs of infertility. And that is find somebody else you feel comfortable talking to about your infertility besides your spouse. That doesn’t mean that you have to tell the whole world like I have, just find one confidant that will be there to listen. While continual communication with your spouse is so important, I cannot tell you how helpful it is to find somebody removed from the situation to give you some perspective when you are at your lowest. Someone who will give you a little lift after you talk with them.

I remember feeling so bitter and depressed and my sister would always have the right thing to say that helped restore my hope. I remember walking away from discouraging doctor’s appointments in tears and my husband would have to go back to work. I would instantly call my sister to vent and after a long conversation, I felt a surge of energy. And as anyone who’s gone through infertility can attest, even a small moment of feeling hope is enough to get you through your next treatment or appointment. Those moments were so vital for me that if I hadn’t experienced them, I literally would have just stayed in bed all day.

Phew, no wonder it took me forever to get through filming my video without crying.

You can hear from a variety of women going through infertility at Redbook’s site and even post your own video to share what you’ve learned.

And just like Nichole said, let’s share the truth about trying.

illustration: Danielle Kroll

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