Three months ago we were in a regroup with our doctor. We had already gone through three IUIs and she was explaining the IVF process, what we thought would be the next step. After a thorough explanation she said, “You can always try another round of IUI. What do you want to do?” I wanted to say no. I had given up hope and needed a break. I didn’t think I could handle another disappointment. So I was surprised when I said, “We’d like to try another IUI.”
A couple weeks later we were at the doctor’s office going through the treatment, which seemed routine by then. I squeezed my husband’s hand as my stomach cramped up and, within a few minutes, it was over. There was nothing more we could do. We just had to wait.
I’m not good at waiting. You’re supposed to wait two weeks until you take a pregnancy test. I waited a week and a few days. Nothing. I waited a couple more days. This time something appeared that I had never seen before: a very, very faint second line. I didn’t tell my husband because I was afraid I was imagining things. The next day I took a third test and the second line–although faint–it was there again. I went to the store for more tests so that I could take more that same day. Nothing. I looked at the box and realized it wasn’t early detection. Back to the store for more tests. The next morning was the day I was actually supposed to test. I couldn’t sleep. I woke up groggy and took a test while my husband was sitting on the couch eating a bowl of cereal before work. This time that magical second line was darker than ever before. I started to shake and came out of the bathroom in a hysteric, ugly cry. “I’m pregnant!” My husband was in disbelief.
The first trimester has come and gone and I am due on April 15th. That stick with the visible second line still sits on our console table, reminding us of how shocked and happy we were. We thank God everyday for this miracle.
While we are thankful to have a baby on the way, my husband and I still carry with us the heaviness of infertility. We remember our struggle and the pain associated with it. And we understand how it will be in the future as we try to grow our family. But today we can say that miracles happen and no one is alone.