In East Asia, Upscale 30-Day Confinement Centers Cater to New Mothers & Babies
I find this fascinating. In this week’s Time magazine, there’s a story about the increasing popularity of upscale postpartum “confinement” centers in Hong Kong and Taiwan.
The idea behind these high-end, pampering centers comes from the ancient practice, zuo yuezi (“sitting the month”). It involves the mother being cared for by a team, or a “village,” of trained attendants for the first 30 days. She doesn’t go out. She is fed a special diet of nourishing, lactation-friendly soups and other warm, healing foods. She learns how to care for a her baby and is given support so she can get some sleep. A doctor makes visits. Less upscale versions of these centers exist in Queens, New York–these mostly cater to recent immigrants who don’t have extended family to help out. The ones that are gaining popularity in the east, however, are downright luxurious:
“Tsai has been sitting the month in style at Baby Moon, a three-year-old confinement center with the feel of a boutique hotel. A pack of staffers in pink cardigans and ponytails wait at the reception desk, ready to lead guests to a cushy lounge. Across the corridor, in 20 rooms that range from $200 to $330 per day, new mothers enjoy nights of uninterrupted sleep. In addition to classes on personal and infant care, there are spa and salon services available. The women are visited biweekly by doctors, have their bellies bound with postnatal girdles and take meals on white-linened food carts. They see their children when the mood strikes and — if they so choose — to breast-feed. For most of the day and night, the babies are attended to by a team of nurses. The center is booked solid for over six months.”
There’s some debate about how the tradition of zuo yuezi is being modernized:
“By and large the women in the market for such accommodation don’t want to burden, or be burdened by, well-meaning relatives. Increasingly, family members live at a distance and, in any case, it seems that sitting the month under the watch of one’s mother-in-law is not always all that reposeful. A convention that emphasizes naps and plenty of pampering following the trauma of labor is appealing, particularly to working women who need to recover fast. But the more rigid “rules” of the confinement period, still often enforced by the older generation, feel outmoded to most young moms — among them, bans on air-conditioning, exercise, crying, showering and washing the hair. In fact, the development of a progressive postpartum industry that welcomes all levels of adherence may have saved the practice from anachronism. If modern mothers weren’t able to sit the month comfortably, with ease and without familial pressure, they might not sit it at all.”
Some thoughts, in no particular order:
* In general, I love the sound of all this support and the importance placed on mom and not just newborn. There are many other traditions reaching back in time and across cultures that include caring for the mother in the first 30 days postpartum… so that she may care for her baby. But being separated from dad for 30 days and nights could put a serious wedge between the two parents in terms of experience and connection as new parents. Of aspects of this ancient tradition, this part feels incompatible with modern ideas of co-parenting. I was happy to read about the slightly less expensive alternative in Taiwan and Hong Kong, of hiring a “stay-at-home confinement lady,” or postpartum doula, to help out for the first four weeks.
*Not bathing is interesting. I may sound gross (and I personally think women at all stages of pregnancy and postpartum should immerse themselves in water as much as they can or care to), but I can see how it makes some sense in terms of the mother-baby bond. Babies and mothers have a very strong connection based in smell. My adaptation of this tradition would be to say, bathe, but don’t use any perfumes or perfumed products for mom or baby.
* No AC might come from the Chinese emphasis on heat for healing. From what little I know about Chinese medicine heat is often preferable to cold. And in general I think that can make a lot of sense. Still, I can see how this one would be hard to put up with if you’re used to a controlled climate.
* No crying (for mom) seems like a very tall order/a bit harsh. Crying can be so important or necessary or just flat-out unavoidable at the end of pregnancy and immediately after birth. Hell, even during birth it can let off some stress. Maybe moms being tended to in this way have less to cry about? But they still have a huge hormonal shifts to contend with.
Still, I find this stuff completely fascinating; maybe because in my culture (early 21st century America), so little attention is paid to the new mother’s experience in the first 30 days postpartum. Aside from an often unrealistic obsession with “bouncing back,” what do we hear about women during “the fourth trimester”?
Does this kind of nourishing, spa-like treatment appeal to you? How does it compare with what you went through or expect to go through?
Korean post-partum traditions are almost identical to China’s. I gave birth in Korea this August and my husband’s family offered to have me spend time in a birth hotel. ( I blogged about it back in July, http://shotgunkorea.wordpress.com/2011/07/24/goose-dads-and-korean-postpartum-traditions/ ) I should also point out that after my emergency C-section I was not allowed to bathe for five days, that was the hospital’s orders, which surprised me since they were pretty up-to-date in every other regard– still, I wound up loving my birth experience and really grew to appreciate all the care new mothers were given.
Oh— and as for the no A.C. thing, the explanation given to me over and over again was that if you allow yourself to get could immediately following birth, wind will enter your bones and joints resulting in arthritis later on as well as a sensitivity to cold that will last throughout your life. This was the explanation from friends, family and co-workers. The nurses and doctors were sure to remind us that we should keep the room cool so as not to overheat the baby.
Shotgunkorea– Thank you for sharing this! It sounds like it was great to have some dedicated support after an emergency c-section. I also really like the warm/healing concept. It’s very nourishing and nurturing.
Except for the no crying and no bathing, I would love this. Of course, the one thing that sticks out in my mind is “nights of uninterrupted sleep”, lol! The lack of sleep those first few weeks are really my only gripe about new motherhood!
This sounds like heaven to me. I suffered from severe hormonally induced postpartum anxiety the second week we were home from the hospital. While my husband and family were enormously helpful and supportive to me, round the clock care (no food to make, no clean up b/c you pay for it all to be taken care of) would have been terrific, and not put strain on everyone to care for me. It would have been a huge burden to have been lifted!
I have never heard of anything so ridiculous! Some women act as if having a baby is such a big thing. Women have been doing it for centuries without all this nonsense. You had the baby, you take care of it! Stop acting as if having a baby is a handicap. Sure it is difficult at times but hey that is life. You shouldn’t expect anyone to go out of their way to cook your meals, clean your house and do the rest of YOUR duties. You still have all your limbs and are quite capable of doing for yourself. So put your big girl panties up and stop whining about having a newborn and no help.
I live in China (but a poor, rural area — everyone does the 30 day confinement but at home with mother-in-law and other female relatives) so I found this really interesting. Balance is needed in everything… sometimes the baby seems to bond to Grandma and even at age 1 cares nothing for rarely-present Mom who goes about her pre-birth life as usual. Other times, it’s a huge blessing for the new mother and baby to bond in that first month with the assistance of experienced loving relatives to take care of other chores to help ease everyone into the new routine. Some of the specific bans do seem strange to me, but others sound nice.
To Mounique, the commentor above me, I’m not sure what is so ridiculous (other than the pricetag for the luxury centers the article referred to!)… the strong emotions you express about people acting like “having a baby is such a big thing” surprise me; women having babies for the last centuries were MORE likely to have the support of relatives and neighbors than in today’s mobile society, and I wish I had had some postpartum support to help me adjust!
I grew up in NYC and had my baby here. Being from East Asian descent (Korean), my family followed many of the traditions mentioned in this article. I didn’t find it comforting besides the seaweed soup. It all depends on your personality. The constant telling you not to do certain things can be stressful instead of helpful. Getting lectured for turning the AC on in the heat of August, taking a shower (when all you want is a warm shower when you’re engorged) and opening the fridge were more of irritations for me. I think if you want to be hands on and can’t stop being by your baby (most moms are like this after birth) this method gets in the way. I even bickered with my grandmother about who would bathe my son for the first time. I insisted on doing it because I wanted to experience and she persisted she could do it quicker and should. I know they are just trying to be helpful but it was a special bonding time between mom and baby. Helping out with food and cleaning were very much appreciated though!
In my country (Taiwan), zuo yuezi is a normal and expected thing for mothers to do after childbirth. I’m six months along, and I will also do that, but I’m debating about whether or not to go to a postpartum center. The biggest deterrent for me is the price–which ranges from about 150 to 300 USD per day. (You can do the math for the price of one month. You could buy a Birkin with that money!) I’m considering going to the center for a week, and then having my mother and aunts help me at home for the rest of the month. Home is always the most comfortable place, but I’m worried about the workload of taking care of a newborn while trying to recover from childbirth.
Oh, by the way, I will most definitely be bathing during the confinement month. Doctors and hospitals here say bathing will not cause any harm as long as you immediately dry your hair afterwards. I’ll be giving birth in late April so I’m definitely going to use air conditioning, but I’ll direct the airflow towards the ceiling so it won’t directly blow on my head/body. As for the not crying thing, I don’t see how that’s going to be possible since I’ve always been a cryer even before pregnancy.
The only thing my mother’s insisting on is not going outside since she’s scared I will have wind blow on me which supposedly will hurt my health for the rest of my life.