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20 Inappropriate Yet Totally Funny Baby Onesies

By Devan McGuinness |

There are some times in life where it’s totally appropriate to have an inappropriate sense of humor. It’s not too often we get away with it — but when your kids are too young to talk back, that’s the time to get your laugh on.

Back forever ago (ok, three years ::sniff) when I was having babies, I had no idea that Etsy existed or Zazzle and was therefore not privy to finding truly funny clothes for them. I was stuck with the pastel colors and cutesy sayings.

That’s not the case anymore and if we do have another baby — I will take advantage of the fact that I can dress them how I want, inappropriate or not and save the photo proof for when they are older.

Click to view the collection of hilariously inappropriate onesies:

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Inappropriate Baby Onesies


Baby I'd Like to Feed. That's not what I thought the 'F' stood for.
Purchase yours on: Zazzle

:: Which is your favorite one? You you buy these for your baby? ::

Read more from Devan on Accustomed ChaosUnspoken Grief Follow Devan on Facebook and Twitter for all updates! Want more? Find me on Babble Kids!


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About Devan McGuinness


Devan McGuinness

Devan McGuinness is the writer of the lifestyle blog Accustomed Chaos. After surviving 12 miscarriages, Devan founded Unspoken Grief, a resource and support site for perinatal and neonatal loss. Read bio and latest posts → Read Devan's latest posts →

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10 thoughts on “20 Inappropriate Yet Totally Funny Baby Onesies

  1. Courtney says:

    These are awesome (:

  2. heather says:

    so funny!

  3. kelly says:

    Love them all!

  4. missy says:

    we bought my oldest a tee when he was months that said who’s tit do i got to suck two get a drink around here. my husband fell in love with it

  5. Jessica R says:

    My sister in law got a shirt for my then three year old that said ” No. You Fu*king calm down!” He thought it said “walmart”. He used to wear the shirt in the privacy of our home all the time.

  6. Amanda says:

    To all of those that think that these are awesome.. WTF? Yah, let’s raise out children to have the same sense of humor that todays society has.. Psh. I’d hate to see what type of shirts you people will let your toddlers wear. I do have to admit though that the ones that are appropriate are adorable. But in my opinion, no baby should wear a onesie that says anything about boobs or “daddys pascifier.”

  7. Erica says:

    I don’t see a huge problem with any of them. I probaly wouldn’t put the one that says “I tore mommy a new one” or “hung like a 5 year old” on my baby because I wouldn’t want to explain that to the other kids, lol.

  8. Cathy says:

    I always wanted one for my first that read “Contraception is 97% effective”

  9. Tiffany says:

    My one year old had a shirt that says, “Too cute to play with your ugly ass kid” I think it’s hilarious he has no idea what it says, nor do the other children he is around. It is strictly for my entertainment.

  10. Gayle says:

    The ONLY one I would have put on my son when he was an infant (he’s now 18 yrs. old) is the one with the baby chicks on it that says “The chicks are all over me”.

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