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Infertility: Where Do You Draw the Line?

Sometimes a simple question can catch you off guard.

Yesterday, I was speaking with a friend on the phone about this overwhelming sadness that I’ve been struggling with this month.

She delicately asked me if I’d be willing to talk with her about just how far Craig and I will take this journey for another baby.

She asked just how much we’re prepared to do.

And it gave me pause.

When we started down this road in early January, we said we’d just give things a try. We agreed that we wouldn’t try for very long, as the risks involved in having a child grow with every passing cycle.

Then, as each month has slipped by, we’ve made concessions.

It’s a slippery slope, really.

If you would have asked me in January just how long we’d try, I would have told you that we’d have given up by now.

But, standing there with the phone to my ear, I couldn’t say with any certainty just how much we’ll do.

We had agreed that we’d just try…no drugs, no interventions.

Yet, here we are, far past where I thought we’d go.

We’ve drawn a new line. Clomid for a bit…perhaps IUIs.

But if that doesn’t work, then what?

Will we draw yet another line?

Or will we know when to quit?

One of the most-often recommended tips for couples going through infertility is that they have a candid discussion about just how much they’ll do and to then adhere to that decision.

It’s kind of like Vegas, when you think about it.

I’ll only gamble with this $100.

Okay, well, I’m this far in…just another $100.

And before you know it, your eyes are bloodshot, you haven’t slept in what feels like forever, and you have a crazed look on your face.

Because you’ve invested so much that it’s hard to imagine just walking away, with a hole in your heart that you dream another baby could fill.

How do you know when it’s just time to walk away?

A Special Babble Issue on Trying to Conceive: Personal Essays and Conception Tips

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