I had no idea how hard this was all going to be. I have read stories from fellow bloggers who were brave to document their struggles with getting pregnant. I could feel their pain while I was reading their words and I understood on some level, relating their posts to my own experience with multiple miscarriages. What I’ve come to realize, like with many other areas of struggle, you can’t really understand unless you’re in a similar pair of shoes.
I’ve now found myself in a similar pair of shoes.
I’ve been trying to get pregnant for 13 months now, more than triple the amount of time it’s taken me to conceive my older children. I have just completed my 5th round of fertility medication and I am afraid it’s not ever going to work.
It’s hard to trust in your body when month after month it doesn’t seem to do what nature has intended it to do. It’s hard to hold on to the possibility of ever seeing a positive pregnancy test when month after month you’re staring at a one-line negative result.
I am a person who, when faced with a problem, will problem-solve a solution and work until I achieve the goal. I’ve been this way all my life and it’s served me very well. It keeps me driven and happy and yet here, I find that quality working against me.
I am not stressing about this all the time, it’s not affecting my life negatively enough for me to want to take a break or stop all together. I am just wondering when my turn will be, what more could I be doing, and how to get my body to do what it’s supposed to do?
:: How are you doing this month in your infertility journey? ::
Photo credit: istockphoto
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