Categories

Inside the Pregnant Mind: Can I Eat That?

Let me take you on a journey into the mind of a pregnant woman. It begins one night, not long ago, when I was making dinner. It was preparing to cook a quick and easy version of mutter paneer, an Indian dish that I love. The sauce is from a jar because I’m not that gifted a cook and the paneer, a kind of cheese, comes from Whole Foods for sums of money that are a bit ridiculous, actually.

As I was prepping the cheese, I noticed that the package labeled it a “soft cheese.”. The words “soft cheese” triggered something in my pregnant brain, some hearkening back to the rules of pregnancy, rules that I don’t really remember because I suck at being pregnant the second time around. My mind began to whirl.

“Soft cheese. What are the rules on soft cheese now? Am I allowed to eat it? I think it has to be pasteurized. Isn’t most cheese in the US pasteurized? I think it must be because otherwise why would all those raw milk activists be so upset about the scarcity of non-pasteurized milk products? Where is this paneer even from? England. No wonder it costs so much. Do they pasteurize routinely in England? I have no idea. You’d think they would for products for export. How can I be sure, though? Dammit. I’m going to have to go Google this cheese and figure out if I can eat it.”

I heaved a deep sigh and glanced over at the oil heating in my skillet to determine if I had enough time to Google my cheese before hot oil would begin splattering my kitchen.

Hot oil. In which I was going to fry the cheese. Before adding sauce and simmering it at a low boil for 20 minutes.

If 30 seconds in the microwave is enough to render bologna bacteria-free, surely the cooking process I had planned for this cheese would do the same.

OK, then.

For the record, the paneer was delicious.

Tagged as: ,

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Learn More.