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It's Like Peeing on a Stick and Waiting 2 Minutes. Only No Stick. More than Two Minutes. And a Lot Less Pee.

Once we sent all the waiting child paperwork to our agency on Monday, we got an email back shortly from the director saying she would let us know the next steps shortly.

We have come to know that in adoption, shortly has varying degrees of length. As in – we’re still waiting to find out if our homestudy was approved. Not by the same agency, but the in state one working with us.

O_o

I know, I know. Why did we do all this without an approved homestudy? Well. Our international agency (our homestudy agency is based in Texas) said it’s not unusual to proceed with a waiting child while pending homestudy approval. Also they needed an answer from us so they could work on seeing if he’d be a good match or have other families inquire. We either had to go ahead or let him go just in case we weren’t approved.

It seems insane. In fact, it probably is. But we couldn’t not give it a try.

So now we wait. Again. It’s pretty trying to wait over and over – testing my patience and finding that I still don’t have as much as I would like to. Today I nearly sat down about 5 times to email the agency and demand to know about our homestudy, only to remind myself that I promised I’d let this week go by without pushing. The next steps are a commitee of social workers meeting to discuss this little boy and the answers to our questions about him and raising him.

The wait is killer. I think about our little guy all the time. Wondering what he’s doing (probably sleeping most of those times since Korea’s on the other side of the world). What he did today. How he likes his foster family. At 9 months what he’s able to do already. And then I remind myself he’s not ours yet, and getting to invested will mean it hurts more if it goes wrong. Which is not how I want to feel at all.

Yet I know how it feels to lose something you love and want so much.

I feel like an emotional ping pong ball.

Did I mention I struggle in the patience department?

Will these two minutes just hurry up already?

Dress from The New Pregnant on Etsy

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Diana blogs on raising a toddler daughter, the loss of her twin boys, and their families’ Korean adoption on the aptly named Hormonal ImbalancesSmaller glimpses into her day are on TwitterFacebook, and Pinterest.

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