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I've Got Nothing.

Waiting and Adoption via Babble.comMy grief/loss therapist has encouraged me to write out my frustration (again) in the waiting game of the adoption process.

I told her I feel like a broken record and am sure I sound like one.

She said to do it anyway. *sigh*

We applied to a new agency last week. However, they were also hesitant about the alcohol use that our (approved) homestudy talks on, and said they would need to look it over before accepting us into any program. Even though the country will accept us, an agency can choose.

That was a week ago. We’ve never heard anything since.

In my head, there is the little voice saying, “Just call them! Ask!” And yet, I did that so often with the Korea adoption that all it did was stress me out more and cause me to get angry at the lack of urgency or really caring on the other end. So this time? I decided to just let it be.
They have our application. They have our homestudy. I can’t and won’t get myself worked up about what is taking so long. If I call or email, I open up that door of anxiety and trying to control, and I have enough on my plate without adding that. I plan on emailing next week if we don’t hear anything – but not any sooner.

And honestly? We’ve had so much disappointment in expanding our family this last year that part of me is becoming quite apathetic about the entire thing. I’m pretty emotionally drained and want to take a break from the roller coaster that each day/week brings us in this experience.

Then the flip side of me JUST WANTS TO KNOW. So we can move forward or move on.

I’ve had several people ask if perhaps these obstacles mean we shouldn’t adopt. I can’t say for sure right now, we have an approved homestudy and still paths we can take to try. I don’t think I can give up in this spot, as much as I want it to happen. Even tired as I am, if they called right now and said yes I’d be over the moon excited about it.

My only answer is to wait.

Photo Credit and to Purchase: Etsy.com

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Diana blogs on raising a toddler daughter, the loss of her twin boys, and their families’ adoption on the aptly named Hormonal ImbalancesSmaller glimpses into her day are on TwitterFacebook, and Pinterest.

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