If this is your first pregnancy, you’re no doubt wondering what the actual birth will be like. Well, I’ve got some good news for you. It’s a piece of cake. Granted, you’ll have all a pair of freaky looking hands pulling your baby out of you, but after that (get this) you’ll be rocking a bikini (looking fabulous, I might add) and dancing your ass off to a song that sounds a little too much like Madonna’s “Express Yourself” for me to be totally comfortable with it. Still, it won’t matter. Because you’ll be totally comfortable with it, especially because you’ll be so fired up about the birth and all.
Sure, the whole deal starts off all spooky and dark, but once the beat kicks in? You’re money, girlfriend. And I’ve got the video to prove it. There’s only one problem:
I don’t think it’s very accurate. Because, after all, it’s just a music video — the latest from Lady Gaga for her song “Born this Way.”
So I have a question. Why is Lady Gaga suddenly obsessed with birth? I mean, we all saw the footage of her coming into the Grammys in an egg. Then, the birth theme in her song that she performed during the award show was obvious. And to a certain extent, I get it, especially given the song’s title and all. But why go all vaginal-birth on us via the video?
I’m truly starting to think that Gaga is going ga-ga about the prospect of giving birth one day. Could I be wrong? Sure, I could. But why else would she be taking this “birth” thing to the Nth degree?
Well, Lady Gaga, I got some news for you. You’re welcome to accompany us in July when my wife gives birth for real. Though we’ve not exactly figured out the whole VBAC vs. C-section thing just yet, please feel free to come along either way.
Then you can see the way our Grand Finale will be born.
As well as help Caroline with those dance numbers she’ll be rocking as soon as she’s done.