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Learning to Trust Medical Staff During a High Risk Pregnancy

Learning to Trust Medical Staff During a High Risk PregnancyToday I saw my perinatologist for the last “routine” high risk appointment. On Monday, I’ll be having her take my cerclage out (22 weeks with it in!) since I’m full term at 37 weeks.

Sam will be with me that day, as will my doula. There is a chance, although I have no idea how high, that I could go into labor at that point. Or my water could break. It really all depends on your body at the time, so I’ll stay for around 4 hours afterward to be monitored. If there are no changes, I’ll be sent home.

I have a different pregnancy than most, not just because I’m high risk but also because I’m on medications that make going into natural labor a bit tricky. They also make waiting until 40 weeks (really, past 38) complicated due to side effects and risks.

Sometimes? Sometimes I get worked up about not being a candidate for ideal labor. I’ll read these books or find blogs that make me think, “Wait, why can’t I do that again? I shouldn’t have to do such and such,” and then I work myself into a frenzy of anxiety. I have a very hard time trusting medical staff during a high risk pregnancy. When really, it’s my doctor’s job to try to avoid the huge risks.

  • Stillbirth.
  • Uncontrolled bleeding.
  • Emergency c-section.
  • Long term side effects from Lovenox shots.

I know that both of my doctors keep all of these factors in mind as they monitor my pregnancy, but sometimes because of past experiences with medical staff that didn’t care (like when I was losing the twins), I tend to forget that. The doctors I chose this time around have done everything to keep me and this baby safe. It’s worked.

I have to trust them for this next experience—and trust myself. We both know and respect the other enough to listen and push or listen and back off.

I have everything I wanted this time around. Everything I thought I would have with the twins and didn’t have the chance to get. I have a doula, my husband can be there, a sitter to watch our daughter, a birth photographer, and I know the hospital and staff enough to be fairly comfortable there. I’m focusing on the goal of having a healthy baby and a healing birth, one where no matter how it ends up, I can leave and think, “We all did our very best in the situation.” No matter if it goes smoothly or ends up being an emergency.

 

 Photo Credit: istockphotos.com

Diana blogs on raising a toddler daughter, the loss of her twin boys, and a baby boy on the way on the aptly named Hormonal ImbalancesSmaller glimpses into her day are on TwitterFacebook, and Pinterest.

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