Let's Get Pregnant and Judge Each Other
Are you going to get an epidural?
Really?
Interesting.
Every day in pregnancy and new parenthood can feel like the first day of Jr. High. Changing bodies, changing rules: everyone is new and on edge and the inter-species cruelty skyrockets.
It is for this reason I highly recommend you read what Jayne Freeman over at Mamarama has to say. She raises the excellent point that while it’s very likely that you will be judged for your choices, it is just as likely that you will judge others.
“We get judgment from friends and relatives and then quite often from other parents. After all the disapproval over how you’re going about your pregnancy subsides, look forward to years of scrutiny about everything else you’re doing. More importantly, recognize that YOU TOO, will be just as critical.”
Freeman explains how normal this is, why it happens and offers ways to handle the pressure. I think it’s perhaps the most important advice there is for new moms. You will always be doing it ‘the wrong way’ in someone’s eyes. Part of becoming a parent is learning to live with that.
photo: Jayne Freeman/painting: Kevin McEvoy
Somewhere along the lines I came across the term: Creative Judgment. This is the process of seeing yourself judging others and turning it around and asking yourself, “why is this triggering me?” From there you can use your judgment towards the greater good and towards understanding yourself more and more.
Bernadette
http://www.slowfamilyliving.com
http://www.bernadettenoll.blogspot.com