There are moments when I can’t bear to be looked at as “that poor woman.”
Or worse yet, “that broken woman.”
Because my inability to get pregnant surely means that something is wrong with me, right?
I can’t bear to hear one more woman tell me that people call her Fertile Myrtle or that she gets pregnant by just having her husband look at her.
I know that these women aren’t trying to be hurtful.
These statements are perhaps simply meant to fill an awkward silence, a moment in which a friend just doesn’t know what to say to me…when she has no frame of reference to know the kind of pain that comes from infertility.
And there are times when I worry that others are growing weary of hearing me talk about our struggle.
But, I can’t keep it to myself. If I help one woman feel less alone, then my voice matters.
In a recent piece in the Huffington Post, “What Are You, Barren?” Holly Finn explores this idea far more eloquently than I ever could.
She beautifully articulates what it feels like to struggle with infertility and the tendency for people to keep quiet about it.
She writes, “I understand why women, and men, might want to keep their baby business to themselves. But keeping quiet tends to keep us all in the dark.”
She goes on to explain how so many who struggle with infertility “…feel muzzled, unable to talk frankly about this thing that is essential. Whatever the cause, true communication about fertility has been squelched.”
Thank you for sharing, Holly. Thank you for speaking up and for helping to bring infertility into the open.
Please keep sharing, for yourself, for me, and for the 7.3 million people in the U.S. alone, who are impacted by infertility.