I’ve known about our military ball for months. In fact, my husband bought the tickets in… March? April? Yet here I sit, 2 days to go until the ball, with nothing to wear. I need a formal maternity gown for this event.
At 33 weeks pregnant. I have to go ball gown shopping at 33 weeks pregnant.
Most reasonable women, knowing they would be this enormous (give or take) at 33 weeks, would have looked for a dress far sooner than this. Not me! I’m known for my procrastination. Throw in a pregnancy where I couldn’t think a week ahead for fear I’d lose this baby and have a maternity gown hanging in my closet and then you’ve got some real problems. Suddenly I’m still pregnant and we’re still headed to the ball.
Yesterday, Sam came home from work and gave me the side eye. “Did you buy a dress?” he asked.
Loud sigh. “Honey, you have to have a gown for this. It’s formal. You’re kind of running out of time here.”
It’s not as if I haven’t looked. El Paso has no rental places for gowns, and I really don’t want to drop $200 on a gown I will wear once. Yet I hadn’t actually gone anywhere and I knew that’s what he meant. Googling “maternity formal wear” over and over isn’t really doing anything.
So today I got Bella and I ready to go and 2 hours later (because that’s how out of breath I get) we rolled out to a local bridal store. I could tell when I walked in, they were thinking, “Whoa. I don’t even know if we have her size…”
They were sweet about it and told me most dresses were custom ordered, but they did have one that might fit.
We got in the dressing room where Bella, 3 1/2, asked over and over and over why the lady left us there alone. Did she not want to see me naked? Was I too big? Big Mommy? Did I like to be naked? Was I leaving my underwear on? Is that where the baby would get his food? Why did I have the red marks all over my stomach?
To top it all off, the dress was gorgeous and it didn’t fit. The zipper wouldn’t go up my massive rib cage and I wasn’t about to break it.
So large, tired, and slightly embarrassed from being described head to toe within earshot of everyone, we left. Since I didn’t fit in the dress anyway, I bought us Krispie Kreme doughnuts as a consolation prize.
My other options include hauling myself across town to the 2 other stores to see what they have. Which I will do. When Sam is able to watch Bella and I can go alone. I have two nights to do this. It’s all my own fault, and yes, I am kicking myself for it.
Not really… because then I’d probably tip over and my legs can’t reach anything besides each other.