I mentioned a couple of weeks ago my anxiety and worry for already neglecting my second child because I can’t focus as much attention on her as much as I did when I was pregnant with Harlan. As these few weeks have passed I have found a way to incorporate both of my children into my life before the second is even born.
Harlan has always been very positive about this pregnancy. Although she probably doesn’t entirely get it, she loves being able to be a part of it with me. As I take her on my pregnancy journey with me, it has created a stronger bond in our mother/daughter relationship and it has also created a bond with her unborn sister.
About a week ago I began to feel the baby kick very strongly. We are now even able to see the kicks from the outside of my belly. My first reaction was to let Harlan feel it.
Last night the baby was moving a lot and I knew it would be the perfect moment for Harlan to feel her. As she began to move I quickly pulled Harlan over to touch my stomach. She gently put her hand on my stomach and patiently waited for her sister to kick. As we waited for her to move, Harlan kept asking what the baby was doing “in there.” As I explained to her that she moves and kicks in my belly and she was going to be able to feel it, she started kicking her own leg to mimic what the baby was doing. I assured her that she was correct and that’s what her sister does in my belly. Just as we finished talking the baby let out a jolting kick right below Harlan’s hand.
Harlan’s eye widened and she quickly moved her hand from my belly as if it has startled her. She smiled as if realizing for the first time that she really did have a baby sister growing in mommy’s belly. Her reaction was so genuine and raw and was yet another moment I saw her love for her sister strengthen.
As my pregnancy continues, I no longer worry if I am making adequate time for Harlan and my unborn child. But I have quickly learned that letting Harlan join in on my pregnancy journey helps me focus on both of my little girls that already mean the world to me.
How did you balance time focusing on your pregnancy and your children?