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Memo To My Baby Re: Insane Nesting Urges

Memorandum

To: Baby
From: Mommy
Re: Nesting

First, I would like to thank you for the recent break in compulsive nesting behavior that you have given me. It was nice to spend my weekends doing something other than scrubbing the fridge or redecorating the guest room. But I’ve noticed that you’ve started to make some new nesting demands of me and I would like to address a few of them.

While intensive spring cleaning is actually a great idea, I must decline your request to replace all the blinds and ceiling fans in the house. I am more than happy to render the ones we have dust-free but chanting “These are ugly, we need new ones” while I do that is not constructive and will not send me running to Home Depot to start picking out replacements. Or if I do decide to do that, you will not be able to go to college because we are not made of money.

As for the upstairs bathroom, you are correct that the newly retiled shower (the project that is somewhat responsible for us not being made of money) does not match the ugly, poorly applied wallpaper in there. And I agree that putting wallpaper in a bathroom was dumb of the previous owners of our house. But I am technically on pelvic rest and I think that precludes me from removing all the hardware in there, stripping the wallpaper, prepping the walls and painting them the exact shade of cafe au lait you’ve suggested that you would like. As for that professional paint crew you keep bringing up, see again money: not made of.

I do appreciate your sudden interest in the yard, however, and I think you’re absolutely right about the front flower bed. I’ll instruct your father to dig up the weeds that are showing their ugly faces and you and I can pick out some nice ornamental shrubbery for him to plant. Curb appeal is a very good investment and I’m sure your Daddy will love having a project. Your big brother can even help with the digging. He loves dirt.

Finally, no. I have not forgotten about your room. I have every intention of moving the desk and printer out of there and cleaning it until it sparkles. I’ll get cool art for the walls, put up a crib and changing table, clean the upholstery on the glider and turn the whole place into baby paradise. But not yet. Your big brother is having trouble understanding how long it will be before you actually arrive and a flurry of nursery decoration would confuse him. So, you will have to wait a few more weeks before I get to that project.

I hope this memo answers your questions about what Mommy is and isn’t willing to do around the house between now and your arrival date. Though you may think otherwise, I am actually the boss around here. You and your buddies the pregnancy hormones need to back off a little. Ok? Ok.

Read more from Rebekah at Mom-in-a-Million, The DC MomsThe Broad Side
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